The Guests of Honor Pooped On the White House Floor

By Aimée Lutkin  |  November 21, 2017 | 8:40pm
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We were waiting for Donald Trump to strangle a turkey for looking at him wrong today, but before that happened, the two fowls spent an evening in a fancy hotel courtesy of the National Turkey Federation.

The Hill reports that this isn’t the first time a turkey has been put up in a luxury hotel before meeting the president, but it certainly feels like the most symbolic time. The pair enjoyed their twin beds at the Willard Intercontinental Hotel, where supposedly rooms run from $200 to $3,500 a night.

If you feel like that’s too much for a pair of brainless birds, please note that they spent some of Tuesday taking craps all around the White House podium. They’ve earned their keep.

And they experienced horrors of which we can barely conceive:

The official pardon took place in the Rose Garden, and it looked like there was nothing else to do in Washington D.C. today.

Trump did manage to pardon the turkeys without accidentally stepping on one of their necks (so far), but he also took a little dig at Obama for no reason other than his still-bruised ego:

 
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