The Moment When Halloween Becomes The Day Of The Dead

By Dodai Stewart | September 12, 2011 | 5:40pm

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Last night’s season finale of True Blood saw tons of changes in the town of Bon Temps. The episode took place on Halloween, but with so many murders, ghosts and vampires, it really was the Day of the Dead.

After falling for Bill but fantasizing about Eric and then falling for Eric but worrying about Bill, Sookie finally decided to extricate herself from her vaguely annoying love triangle. I was never Team Bill to begin with, and Whimper-Eric was sweet but lacked the danger that made him sexy in the first place. Now that Sookie’s broken up with both vamps, will she turn to poor, overlooked Alcide? Because I took a poll of my area and he has not been naked enough. And yes by area I mean vagina. In any case, at least Sookie admitted that the whole thing had gotten out of hand. “What a mess,” indeed.

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My favorite scene was when Pam had a shit fit over trying to find Eric. She is not the only one sick of Sookie’s precious fairy vagina and stupid name. Pam and Ginger should get a Fangtasia spin-off show with lots of naked male and female model eyecandy. It could be called Relationships Suck or something.

Other moments of note:

• Jessica was Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf, all rolled into one. Jason has slept with a whole lot of women, but never one like Jessica, who is like a virgin every time. And yet! She wants to role play and get kinky. The virgin/whore dichotomy, in one gorgeous package. That’s what dudes want.

• I thought I was hallucinating when Scott Foley just rolled in from out of nowhere. Even Terry Bellefleur was all, “OMG, it’s that dude from Felicity!”

• We got rid of Marni, once and for all. Poor Jesus had to make the ultimate sacrifice. Why do the hotties have to die? (Aside: Nelsan Ellis is amazing as Lafayette, and was even more amazing as Lafayette posessed by Marni. Give the man an award, someone.)
• Reverend Newlin again? God. Literally. Christ.
• It was sad to see her go, but the death of Nan was pretty great. “What a bitch.”
• The ghost of Rene visited Arlene, with his sexy-as-hell Cajun accent. Can’t anyone else on this show work “cher” into a conversation? Jeez.

Last, but not least:

• Tara, Tara, Tara. Poor thing. She’s been through so much on this show. Sometimes it seemed like she was just a trash can where the writers threw everything bad. Maybe now she’s out of her misery? Of course, since this is True Blood, death doesn’t necessarily mean the end.