The Royal Baby Is Christened

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The Royal Baby Is Christened

Baby Archie is now a member of the Church of England, and we, his adoring public, finally have our first pictures of the whole baby, rather than close-ups of fingers, feet, and profile.

Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, who is probably a Yankees fan, was christened in the chapel at Windsor Castle in the company of his parents, Prince Ginger and America’s Best Meghan. Guests included Prince William and Kate Middleton, grandparents Prince Charles, Camilla Bowles, Markle’s mother Doria Ragland, and sisters of the late Princess Diana, Lady Jane Fellowes and Lady Sarah McCorquodale, one of whom may be a godparent.

“The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are so happy to share the joy of this day with members of the public who have been incredibly supportive since the birth of their son,” the Royal Instagram Announcement read. “They thank you for your kindness in welcoming their first born and celebrating this special moment.”

Not in attendance was great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth II and great-grandfather, Prince Phillip, as the two had a previous commitment to visit a horse. Archie didn’t get a new christening gown and was forced to share with his cousins Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis, even though he has no title. I’m just collecting these grievances for Archie should he one day want to do an MFA in poetry but can’t decide if he has pain significant enough to sustain three years of sad verse. You’re welcome, future Archie. [Page Six]

Cardi B got a little excited at a concert in London and threw her wig into the crowd. She now regrets that choice and would like the wig returned. Once, in high school, I loaned a very popular girl a palm tree print Guess tube top that had only been worn once and when she said she’d return it, to which I replied, “It’s fine, you can keep it.” So I can say with authority that Cardi is not getting that wig back, but the lesson is just as valuable. [Hollywood Life]

  • Bethenny Frankel’s stepdad wrote a book in which he says that he wasn’t that shitty during Frankel’s childhood but still comes off sounding pretty shitty. [Page Six]
  • Meghan Markle wore jeans. [People]
  • MacKenzie Bezos is rich, officially. [Page Six]
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