The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story Was Surprisingly Un-Scandalous
EntertainmentI wasn’t sure what to expect from the The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story. While there were plenty of trashy plotlines throughout the series’ seven seasons —evil alter egos, cults, murder plots and stolen babies—I couldn’t recall the show actually having an offscreen villain, à la Beverly Hills, 90210’s Shannen Doherty. Still, I was more than ready to see a dramatic reenactment of the infamous scene in which Marcia Cross as Dr. Kimberly Shaw pulls off her wig, revealing a totally gnarly, post-car accident scar.
The movie opens with a Fox network party celebrating the success of 90210. Dan Castellaneta and Adam Korson reprise their roles as Aaron Spelling and Darren Star, respectively, from last week’s The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story. The two discuss an idea of a new show which would revolve around single hotties living in the same apartment building in L.A.
After the show is greenlit, casting begins and we learn which other now-famous actors were considered for the roles. Courteney Cox could have played Allison Parker, which instead went to Courtney Thorne-Smith (Rebecca Dalton.) Paul Rudd, Jason Bateman and Matthew Perry were all considered for Billy Campbell, but a Canadian actor named Stephen Dale gets the part. There’s also a reference to the confusion between Melrose Place Vanessa Williams and Vanessa “Saved the Best for Last” Williams. Darren and Aaron suggest a, gasp, gay character to Fox. “It’s good to court a little controversy,” Mr. Spelling says. “Twenty years from now, being gay is going to be like owning a station wagon!”
The cast meets each other on their Santa Clarita set. Amy Locane immediately name-drops her Cry-Baby co-star, Johnny Depp. “Sleep is overrated, that’s what Johnny told me,” she casually slips into a conversation with her new castmates. She then says something about “a lot more happening off-camera” and I realize I want Lifetime to make Unauthorized biopics of all of John Waters’s movies. Another Cry-Baby alum, Traci Lords, played a crazed cult member in Melrose Place’s third season, but she unfortunately does not appear in this movie.
During filming, Stephen Dale opens up his shirt to reveal a flabby stomach, which is a sacrilege in the land of Melrose Place. According to this movie, he went back to Canada to visit family and gained some weight. I wait for a joke about poutine, but alas, nothing. Stephen is FIRED! They need a new Billy Campbell. Tori Spelling (Abby Ross) comes to the rescue again when she suggests Andrew Shue (Frank Bailey) to her father. Shue is the brother of Elizabeth “Adventures in Babysitting” Shue as well as a soccer player, so he’s got to have the six-pack abs required for the role.