The Underwhelming Tale of the SKIMS Cocaine Smuggler

Last week, Jezebel was devastated to learn that Kim Kardashian would be taking a break from pursuing her law degree. After a seven-year journey through a law apprenticeship and a failed bar exam in November, she decided to focus on more lucrative endeavors, like becoming a big-time Broadway producer, taking 35 supplements a day, and joining the Ryan Murphy cinematic universe.

But this week, Kim is proving that she doesn’t need to pass any stupid bar exam in order to put criminals behind bars. With the help of her shape-wear brand SKIMS, British authorities arrested a smuggler concealing 200 pounds of cocaine in a shipment across the North Sea and sentenced him to 13 years in prison. Everyone say thank you, Kim! 

The cocaine smuggler went by the name of Jakub Jan Konkel, which isn’t an alias but the real name of a real Polish guy smuggling drugs in Europe! According to the UK’s National Crime Agency, Border Force seized Konkel’s truck carrying 28 pallets of SKIMS clothing on the ferry from the Netherlands into the Port of Harwich in Essex. 

Don’t expect a James Bond-level car chase through the streets of a cobblestone town–Kronkel was caught pretty much immediately. After Border Force x-rayed the truck, they discovered 90 packages of cocaine, almost 200 pounds (that’s American pounds), reportedly valued at around 7 million pounds (that’s British pounds) or US$9.4 million. Konkel denied knowledge of the drugs, but eventually fessed up to being paid 4,500 euros to mule.

But let’s get to the most urgent matter at hand: Should I be worried there’s coke in my thong? Great question, but no. The thongs were untouched, and the smugglers instead concealed the drugs inside a secret compartment in the back doors of the truck. Phew!

A lorry driver has been jailed for smuggling more than £7m worth of cocaine hidden on a vehicle carrying a consignment of Kim Kardashian’s Skims underwear and clothing.

Read the full story ➡️ https://t.co/eDNg4AmFla pic.twitter.com/AIRhhd39Q2

— National Crime Agency (NCA) (@NCA_UK) May 18, 2026

The NCA confirmed the SKIMS shipment was legitimate and not connected to the drug ring, but, based on the photos released by the agency, the police still seized the shapewear and entered it into evidence. So if you see some coppers in Essex looking particularly snatched, you know what happened.

No connections to larger crime rings were discovered, so Kim—there’s still work to be done and more criminals to be caught if you want to dust off that bar exam study guide!

Anyway, the moral of the story is that we all owe Kim our thanks for keeping drugs off the streets, and for paving a new path for attorney-hopefuls everywhere: Step 1: Fail the bar. Step 2: Execute a large-scale crime ring cocaine bust.