TMZ Is Now Berating Congress, as the Founding Fathers Intended

This will either be the best or the worst thing to happen to the American people.

By Claire Guinan  |  April 15, 2026 | 2:08pm
Photos: TMZ
TMZ Is Now Berating Congress, as the Founding Fathers Intended

Congress is returning to the hill after a two-week recess with a little surprise in store—there’s a new legacy media taking over the press corps, the legacy being celebrity scandals, gotcha moments, and explosive headlines…That’s right, it’s TMZ!

Amid the partial government shutdown, Congress went on recess or “spring break,” during which TMZ enlisted the masses to sell them pictures of congresspeople on vacation, at the airport, or enjoying themselves in any way whatsoever while TSA workers weren’t getting paid. This is how Rep. Lindsay Graham (R) got caught walking around Disneyworld by himself, carrying what appeared to be a Fantasyland “bubble wand.” After the stunt’s success, TMZ announced they would send a small crew to D.C. to continue covering Congress (because the celebs are boring these days!).

“So lawmakers and staffers in D.C., look for Jacob, Charlie and Jakson.” TMZ wrote in their announcement. “They are nice enough guys, generally smart and sometimes even charming.” 

So while Congress resumed on Tuesday, the TMZ crew wasted no time doing what they do best—putting the cameras in people’s faces and annoying the fuck out of them. And I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this treatment than Trump’s cult. In one clip, the team confronted Graham about his visit to Disney World.

“Could I just ask you about the bubble wand, sir?” the TMZ staffer asked. Graham swatted the cameras away and continued walking, and the subsequent headline read, “Lindsey Graham Declines to Discuss Bubble Wand With TMZ DC.” So, this could be either the best or the worst thing to happen to the American people.

TMZ also approached Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and asked him to weigh in on the current “beef” between Trump and the Pope. Imagine reading that sentence a year ago.

“I understand you want to get me in the middle of that, but I trust them both to express their own views,” Cruz responded, and why does it look like he’s enjoying it a little too much? He allowed TMZ to follow him all the way to the elevator with that little smirk on his face. So, quit acting like this isn’t everything your inner theatre kid ever wanted, Ted. 

If I know our Congress, I know they love to sell out, so I can only imagine what they will reveal about their peers given the chance to make a quick buck.

In a way, this is exactly what the founding fathers intended…I didn’t pay attention during Hamilton, but I know there was something in there about using the press. I guess Hamilton failed to mention that if you make a reality TV star the president, you’re going to get TMZ in the press corps.

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