Comment Of The Week: ‘If It’s Anything Like ‘America’s State Fair…’
We hold these truths to be self-evident: no amount of fireworks can salvage the shitshow that was Trump’s Great American State Fair.
photo: iStock
Trump’s Great American State Fair in Washington, D.C. continued this weekend, and to conclude the sparsely attended fortnight of festivities for the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Trump promised (demanded? hallucinated?) the “largest fireworks show in the history of the world.”
But hopes were low going into Saturday night, considering what the past two weeks of “celebrating America” have been. To recap: grown men watched other grown men bloody each other on the South Lawn, giant speakers fell from the rafters as no-names performed for crowds of no one, Kash Patel’s GF gave us an interesting rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner,” Usha Vance’s bookmark-making competition was a total snooze fest, and the hell that is our current administration crossed from metaphor into reality as temperatures in D.C. reached over 100 degrees. 250 years later, and oh how far we’ve come.
Trump’s promise for the biggest fireworks show in history was about as hollow as everything else that comes out of his mouth, which is why the esteemed winner of this week’s Comment of the Week is @Sean, who wrote:
World record-breaking fireworks??If it’s anything like the “America’s State Fair” it’ll be half a dozen bottle rockets and a few sparklers. Seven people will turn up to watch it.
…and somehow Trump finds a way to pocket millions from it.
As crowds assembled Saturday for the 850,000-shell fireworks show, severe thunderstorms abruptly shut down the celebration, prompting chaotic evacuations, yet another entry in America’s month-long streak of painfully obvious metaphors!
America 250 is going wellpic.twitter.com/jIy4nWc0Ui
— Robert Skvarla (@RobertSkvarla) July 4, 2026
Trump still got his big ol’ show after midnight hours, but no amount of fireworks could salvage the shitshow that was Trump’s Great American State Fair. Well, happy birthday, Declaration of Independence. Sorry, your party was so lame, but at least it’s over!!!!
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