Trump Plows Into a Brand New Foreign Policy Disaster 

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• The president, on Twitter, has loudly picked sides in a dispute between a Saudi Arabian-led coalition and Qatar, the latter who Trump claimed—again, via Twitter—was funding extremism. The Saudis have also been accused of funding terrorism (notably by Trump himself), but they let him touch an orb, so who gives a shit? [The Washington Post]
• Theresa May, two days from Thursday’s election, has made the alarming declaration that “if human rights laws get in the way of tackling extremism and terrorism, we will change those laws to keep British people safe.” [BBC]
• In his Thursday hearing, James Comey is expected to refrain from accusing Trump of obstruction of justice. [ABC News]
• Canada is now building up its military following the Trump administration’s clear indication that the U.S. will not help anyone unless it benefits us in some way. [Washington Post]
• Here is an extremely horny update on the Mueller probe. [Politico]
• Aaand here is yet another State Dept. spokesperson who cannot answer a question. [Twitter]
• Trump’s large and greasy adult sons who are absolutely not involved in anything White House-related have called the Russia investigation a “witch hunt.” Why do very stupid men always use that phrase? [Politico]
• Trump is nominating the Bush official who wrote legal memos authorizing torture to a role in the Transportation Department. [HuffPost]
• Greg Gianforte, the newly-elected Montana congressman who was charged with misdemeanor assault, has filed for an extension on his court appearance. [Helena Independent Record]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.