13 Things We Learned From The 'Cosmo For Guys' iPad App

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As we now know, Cosmopolitan just launched an iPad-only magazine called Cosmo For Guys. It’s like Cosmo, but … uh, for guys. As card-carrying guys ourselves, we took a look and learned a few things.

  • A special note to our Miami-based readers: Women in South Florida are especially fond of nipple biting.
  • If you’re in a coffee shop, do NOT click on a “Tap to Hear Sound” button if you’re reading a Cosmo For Guys story entitled “Decode Her Bedroom Sounds.” You will be asked to leave the coffee shop.
  • It would have been pretty cool to be at the recording session for “Decode Her Bedroom Sounds.”
  • According to a quiz that we aced, we are excellent at avoiding “Awkward Date Situations.” We beg to differ, Cosmo For Guys.
  • According to a different quiz that we aced, we know exactly how to dress to impress women. We just choose not to always dress that way.
  • That said, getting fashion advice from a naked woman isn’t the worst thing in the world.
  • Ian Somerhalder’s self-satisfied “Ooh, look at me, I’m a handsome vampire!” smirk is never not infuriating.
  • If you want to get a woman with whom you’re starting to get serious a cool gift that costs a fair amount of money, it should be a Barnes & Noble Nook. Wait … should Cosmo For Guys be saying that on an iPad app?
  • According to a scientific study, wearing cologne can actually make women think you look better. (That’s still no excuse to bathe in it.—Ed.)
  • Most dudes agree: The more skin a woman’s bathing suit reveals, the hotter it is. Shocking!
  • Women like the Gillette Fusion ProGlide razor as much as we do.
  • “Mix Her a Sexy Elixir” is an excellent headline for a cocktail story.
  • Cosmo For Guys‘ female advice columnist is way cuter than Cosmo‘s male advice columnist.

This post originally appeared on Modern Man. Republished with permission.

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