Women Don't 'Fight Back' Against Harassment as Much as We Think We Do, and That's Just Fine

There’s a pesky voice that pops up, without fail, any time a woman complains about street harassment or sexual harassment in the workplace or rape culture in general: “Well,” it says, “did you scream for help/tell him to fuck off/punch him in the nads? Why not? Sounds like you didn’t hate it that much.” Or from men, specifically: “How’s he supposed to know you don’t like it if you don’t tell him? I guess I’ll just never talk to women in public ever again [sad turtle-face].” And more insidiously, from women: “Well, if some man said that to ME, I wouldn’t take it. I’d fight back. He’d regret it.” Oh, please. Do you criticize car accident victims for being too corporeal?

It’s classic victim blaming—as pervasive as it is antiquated to those of us steeped in this conversation all the time. As though what happens after a verbal or physical assault has any bearing on the nature of the assault in the first place. As though the 20/20 hindsight of a complete stranger who wasn’t even there somehow relieves the perpetrator of responsibility. Unfortunately, what we think we WOULD do or SHOULD do has very little bearing on what people actually do. And science is backing that up.

A new study suggests that when women are sexually harassed, we react more passively than we predict:

Pointing to the 1991 Senate confirmation hearings for Clarence Thomas’ appointment to the Supreme Court, the researchers note that Anita Hill testified she had been sexually harassed by Thomas during his tenure as head of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. She testified that despite being harassed numerous times years before, at no point did she confront Thomas about his behavior or take any action against the harassment. Her claim of repeated sexual harassment and perpetual inaction led to public suspicion with and condemnation of Anita Hill.

Far from being an isolated incident, the case illustrates a trend that prevails even today.

“If we can increase the accuracy of our predictions and realize we won’t stand up for ourselves as often as we would like to think, we will be less condemning of other victims,” Tenbrunsel says.

Bottom line: The way that a woman responds to harassment is irrelevant. And when we judge people based on preconceived, made-up notions about how they “should” act, we wind up punishing them for things they have no control over.