As has been stated repeatedly, 2017 was an anxiety-inducing trash fire of a year that transformed my cell phone into a New York Times push alert-wielding attack weapon that can’t even hold a charge anymore.
A lot of bad things happened in 2017. Some very good things also happened in 2017 (marriages, births, the fact that I figured out how to part my hair correctly) but I am a pessimist and therefore choose to focus on the bad, because there was so much of it. When I noted how very bad 2017 was after Taylor Swift announced on her birthday that she “couldn’t have asked for a better year,” some nice people on the Internet helpfully pointed out that there were other celebrities who said 2017 was an “amazing,” “epic,” or otherwise the best year ever, and that I should call them out too.
So, here are their names, though I am certain I am missing a few: