Anti-Abortion Slenderman Throws Fit (Again)

With Valentines Day nigh and the smell of incoming rejection thick in the air, many Americans are (probably) spending the last day of their week anxiously checking their messages, and wondering if the last risky thing they said to their crush was too much. Or, well… at least Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) is.

On Tuesday, the lawmaker—slash anti-abortion slenderman who seems to be allergic to science—made his latest desperate attempt to get the attention of FDA Commissioner Marty Makary, and used a closed-door briefing in Washington to throw a tantrum about the administration’s hold-up with re-reviewing the abortion pill mifepristone.

“I think that this safety study is a dead end,” Hawley said at the meeting, which was organized by Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) and included a handful of other GOP senators. It was initially reported on by Politico. “I just think that FDA is not serious about it. I don’t think that they’re proceeding with any sense of urgency whatsoever. If they’re really proceeding at all. I frankly can’t tell.”

Cassidy piled on, adding that the “lack of progress” on the “dangerous drugs” is “disappointing.” The study is “moving too slowly,” he added. 

Speaking to Politico after the meeting, Hawley added that he does not have “confidence” the FDA review will “amount to anything,” and is thinking that Congress needs to get involved. (Ugh.) In response, a HHS spokesperson told the outlet that the FDA is “taking care to do this study properly and in the right way,” and asserted that reviews like this one “approximately take a year or more to conduct.”

The pick-me fits come as Hawley’s latest efforts to curry attention from Makary, and they’re an escalated version of the public letter the senator penned to the FDA commissioner in December. “Six months ago, you told me you were ‘committed to conducting a review of mifepristone,’” Hawley wrote then. “Yet according to news reports yesterday, you have ordered this promised safety reviewed delayed until after the midterms. Indeed, it is unclear whether you are conducting an independent safety review at all.” 

Indeed, Hawley’s tone on the subject has been a rising cacophony of whines—beginning with his first letter in April, which included the first of his efforts to amplify a bogus study that he’s been using to claim mifepristone is dangerous. (It’s not.) And this so-called “study”—which has never been peer-reviewed and was published by a far-right think tank with ties to Project 2025—is so fraudulent it’s been denounced by over 200 experts. 

Mifepristone, the first of two pills taken in a medication abortion, is the most common form of telehealth abortions—which accounted for 27% of abortions in the first half of 2025, per numbers obtained from the Society of Family Planning. Consequently, it’s been a standout target for anti-abortionists like Hawley.

And according to reports from Bloomberg, the FDA as of December has been slow-walking its re-review of the pill, with Makary allegedly trying to delay results until after the midterms—or, coincidentally, until after the GOP manages to get through the elections with its slim 218-214 House and 53-45 Senate majority intact. (With a burgeoning blue wave, this is seeming less and less likely…) And the fear appears to be administration-wide: in late January, the Justice Department appeared to hit a panic button on a Louisiana lawsuit targeting the pill, and demanding it to hit pause until the FDA’s own review is done. 

At the time of writing, it’s unclear if Makary has yet responded to Hawley, or tried—at all—to placate his anxieties. But so long as it remains widely unpopular among Americans to kill their reproductive rights, I wouldn’t hold my breath.