Big Baby Claims It’s ‘Seditious’ for Reporters to Note He’s Rambling, Falling Asleep
Barf Bag: Somebody's upset that people have noticed his televised naps, bonkers speeches, and suspiciously bruised hand!
Photo: Getty Images Politics
On November 25, the New York Times published a story titled “Shorter Days, Signs of Fatigue: Trump Faces Realities of Aging in Office,” and, boy, did it hit an (aging) nerve. Co-authors Katie Rogers and Dylan Freedman reported that Donald Trump—the oldest person ever elected as U.S. president—has appeared to doze off during televised meetings, and has done 40% fewer public events and is keeping a shorter daily schedule than his first term. They also noted he continues to ramble during speeches and has noticeably swollen ankles and a bruised hand.
A day later, Trump posted about Rogers and called her ugly, while saying nothing about the male author. On December 2, a different Times reporter wrote that Trump “appeared to be fighting sleep” during a cabinet meeting.
Cut to this week, when Trump posted a nearly 500-word rant on Tuesday night in which he again bragged about taking a cognitive test.
“I actually believe it’s seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean ‘THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.'” he wrote. “The best thing that could happen to this Country would be if The New York Times would cease publication because they are a horrible, biased, and untruthful ‘source’ of information.”
Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.
It’s here that I will note for informational purposes only that Trump’s father, Fred Trump, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at 86.
“Mr. Trump welcomed our reporting on the age and fitness of his predecessors; we’re applying the same journalistic scrutiny to his vitality,” Nicole Taylor, a spokeswoman for the Times, said in a statement. (What a great point. Who can forget “Sleepy Joe“?) “We won’t be deterred by false and inflammatory language that distorts the role of a free press.”
There’s also the matter of the persistent bruise on the back of his right hand. Reporters have noticed the discoloration, which has consistently been plastered with makeup, dating back to August 2024. The bruise got much more attention during a February White House meeting, given that he was now the leader of the free world.
Earlier this month, Trump started adding one or more Band-Aids on top of the makeup. He went from double band-aids at the aforementioned December 2 cabinet meeting to a single band-aid at a Tuesday rally in Pennsylvania.
photos of Trump's bandaged hand last night from Alex Wong of Getty
But he ditched the bandage for a Thursday night party, only to slather on heretofore unseen levels of hand makeup. White House spokesperson Karoline Leavitt continues to blame the bruising on Trump shaking hands all day and taking a daily aspirin.
Trump's mangled right hand was extremely spackled tonight at the White House congressional ball (Alex Wong/Getty)
Before the band-aids got added, my theory was that he was getting IV infusions of…something. But now this feels like something else is going on. Buddy, if it’s something minor like skin cancer, just say so. Otherwise, you’re letting 1,000 conspiracy theories bloom.
So much more barf:
- Trump will aid farmers hurt by tariffs with $11 billion in payouts funded by said tariffs. [New York Times]
- Trump is in his feelings over new polling showing his lowest-ever economic approval of 31%. He posted,”When will I get credit for having created, with No Inflation, perhaps the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country?” [Mediaite]
- Amid these horrible polls, Trump is working on dramatically loosening federal restrictions on marijuana by reclassifying it via executive order. Pure coincidence, I’m sure. (Sadly, this doesn’t mean decriminalization or full legalization.) [Washington Post]
- The White House proposed screening tourists’ social media history, which is chilling on its own, but people are also worried about how this might affect the 2026 World Cup. [Politico]
- Speaking of soccer! Days after FIFA awarded Trump a fake peace prize, the DOJ moved to drop charges in a FIFA corruption case. [New York Times]
- The Heritage Foundation, of Project 2025 infamy, has a blueprint for 2026 in which it says it will pursue state and federal policies to “reduce both the demand and supply for abortion.” [NOTUS]
- The Justice Department failed for the third time to indict New York Attorney General Letitia James on baseless mortgage fraud accusations. [NBC News]
- Headline: “Trump’s Own Mortgages Match His Description of Mortgage Fraud, Records Reveal” [ProPublica]
- The Trump administration is trying to put Trump’s face on some National Park Service passes and ordered NPS gift shops to purge merchandise that promotes DEI. [New York Times/Associated Press]
- After Trump pardoned Texas Rep. Henry Cuellar, House Democrats reinstated him to his leadership role on the Appropriations Committee??? The president is also mad that Cuellar didn’t switch parties. [NOTUS/NBC News]
- Republicans claim they baited Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett to run for Senate because they think she’s easiest to beat. [NOTUS]
- Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, is part of Paramount‘s hostile bid for Warner Bros. Discovery. Paramount CEO and Trump-lover David Ellison is trying to block Netflix from buying parts of the company. [Axios]
- Also Jared: “What people call conflicts of interest…I call experience and trusted relationships.” [Washington Post]
- Barron Trump is apparently a big fan of alleged sex trafficker Andrew Tate. [New York Times]
- Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) stole $36 million in state funds intended to assist needy residents and instead used it to campaign against ballot measures to overturn the state’s six-week abortion ban and legalize recreational marijuana. Both narrowly failed. [Miami Herald]
This has been your Friday Barf Bag, thanks for reading!
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