College ladies, you know how sometimes you fill your birth control prescriptions at your student health center? Well, turns out you’re taking up space that should be reserved for people with more important problems. Allow a fellow student to mansplain it to you.
Writing in the East Carolinian, the student newspaper of East Carolina University, Ben Cochran lays out his predicament: “I’m sitting in the Student Health Center the other day, sneezing my eyes out and coughing up green oysters, wondering what in the name of great Zeus’s beard is taking so long. I’m just trying to get seen and have this mucus-extricated from my hacking body.” Poor guy! So what’s standing between him and treatment? Chicks, man:
Half an hour later, I finally see some movement stirring from across the waiting room. A nurse exits with about half a dozen girls. In their hands, they carried what seemed like a solid 36-month’s worth of birth control.
First of all, not even porn stars need that much birth control. Second of all, do you mean to seriously tell me that I’ve been sitting here in misery for the last half an hour just so this gaggle of girls can get a regulated period and avoid babies?
His recommendation for remedying this injustice: “Go read your Redbook in the lobby of a specialist as you wait to get your lady-bits inspected. Leave Student Health for those of us that are in actual need of medical attention.”
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