Comment of the Week: ‘Coaches, Not Couches’

There’s nothing like a JD Vance fucking-a-couch joke to brighten the day.

By Lauren Tousignant  |  February 8, 2026 | 11:43am
Photo: iStockphoto EntertainmentMilan Cortina Olympics
Comment of the Week: ‘Coaches, Not Couches’

There were some solid contenders for comment of the week this week, but a final-hour submission broke through with reference to one of my all-time favorite political news cycles.

Sometimes the only spark of joy in our current political era is the reminder of the (alleged) story that Vice President JD Vance may have (but probably not) once fucked a couch. 

So this week’s winning comment comes from @Doona Bae’s Little Hat, who commented on “Alysa Liu Defeats JD Vance’s Motorcade to Put U.S. Figure Skating in the Lead for Olympic Gold”:

Vance is going to be very cross when he finds out he misheard and the Olympics are full of coaches, not couches.

Even though Vance-fucking-a-couch-jokes are pretty common, seeing them still feels like watching a butterfly dance through the sun on a warm summer’s day. 

See you next week. Go Team Ken Gusworthy!

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