Downton Abbey Creator Basically Calls Dan Stevens a Shit

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Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes would have liked to give Matthew and Lady Mary Crawley a happier ending, but wasn’t able to because Dan Stevens bailed so unceremoniously.

“I had no choice. Dan would not stay – he was determined to go. Everyone liked him and thought he was fantastic. I tried to persuade him to come back just for one episode of the next series so we could give Matthew and Mary a happy ending but he wanted to go off to America and now I believe he has a three-movie deal. He’s doing very well!”

When you translate that from Tory peer British it means “Dan Stevens is an ungrateful little douchenugget.” [Express]

Justin Theroux hides behind drapes to scare Jennifer Aniston. You heard me. Did I stutter? So no one told you that it’s gonna be this way? (Clap clap clap clap.)

“He calls it trickery,” the “Friends” actress said in an appearance on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”
“He’s constantly hiding behind drapes. And I’m constantly scared. It’s like, it doesn’t get old on me.”

Trickery?? [Page Six]

Jenreaux was seated two tables away from John Mayer at a restaurant and… wait for it… nothing happened. YAR, news is my job. [Us Weekly]

“Let’s just move to France or Italy, open a little antique store, eat pasta, get fat.” When are we going, Jennifer Aniston? I just packed a Longchamp bag full of carbs. [E!]

We forget, amidst the Kristen Stewart hubbub, that Mary-Kate Olsen is actually the O.G. frowner. She looked unhappy in a private Knicks suite with Olivier Sarkozy, maybe because she forgot to bring the thimble she takes a nap in.

“She looked annoyed,” said a spy. “She wasn’t smiling . . . he was rubbing her back, kissing her, making all these sweet gestures.” Then, “She perked up to take a photo, and looked grumpy again.”

Later, Sarkozy reportedly “entertained” Mary-Kate at the Tribeca Ball by “doing a little dance.” Yep, sounds like these two crazy kids are gonna MAKE IT. [Page Six]

Kris, the Kris Jenner-hosted talk show you haven’t been waiting for all your life, premieres on July 15th and will run for six weeks on “selected Fox-owned stations,” attempting to prove itself for national broadcast. It also has a logo that looks like it belongs on a cereal box. Woot. [HuffPo]

Jimmy Fallon interrupted Justin Timberlake’s speech to Jessica Biel at last year’s Timberbiel Homeless Video Nuptials to crack some jokes, to J.T.’s surprise. “Interrupting the groom’s speech at the wedding reception? Cracking jokes when your buddy is looking desperately for the words to say that he hopes his wife will remember forever?” But he rolled with it, sparking a 10-minute improv that had all the guests “roaring with laughter.” (They were drunk.) And Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake lived happily ever after. [Us Weekly]

  • Marc Anthony, the ancient Roman emperor who used to be married to J.Lo, probably broke up with his girlf, 22-year-old Topshop heiress Chloe Green. []
  • Weird Science will get a remake, and if doesn’t star Christopher Mintz Plasse I will literally eat my own hand. [Vulture]
  • It turns out that Edward Norton married Shauna Robinson (who just gave birth to their kid)last year secretly. [Us Weekly]
  • Sir Paul McCartney and Non-Sir But Utterly Complacent With That Ringo Starr had dinner together with their wives. [Express]
  • Real Housewife of Atlanta NeNe Leakes is getting her own wedding spinoff on Bravo called I Dream of NeNe. There are sleep disorder clinics for that! [NYDN]
  • Martha Stewart straight-up napped through a live Jerry Seinfeld standup routine because she owns this fuqing joint (=the world). [Page Six]
  • John Travolta’s son likes Spongebob. [Us Weekly]
  • Robert Downey Jr. says he’s one of the greatest actors of his generation and will definitely win an Oscar (although “[he] couldn’t care less”). Am I the only one who doesn’t find him charming? K. [Radar Online]
  • May this picture of Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy spark a thousand buddy comedies. (Okay, maybe just like two.) [Us Weekly]
  • Anchors on Good Day Philly lose it over sex idiot Ryan Lochte. [TMZ]
  • Finch from American Pie had a knife pulled on him in a one-night stand gone bad. Annnnd, cut. [TMZ]
  • Jon Krasinski’s beard blah blah blah tl;dr fell asleep with eyes open. [Us Weekly]
  • Beyonce had to go to the dentist in Croatia on tour. [Express]
  • “Amanda Bynes is fine,” says Nikki Blonsky; Damian from Mean Girls yells “She doesn’t even go here!” from the back of the room. [Daily Mail]
  • Robin Roberts, who recently returned to Good Morning America after her battle with bone marrow disease, was briefly hospitalized last week in Florida. Feel better, Robin Roberts. [TMZ]
  • Clueless alums Donald Faison and Stacey Dash will reunite on a show called The Exes, if you think it’s worth it/the freeway teaches you just how important love is. [HuffPo]
  • Kate Middleton gets involved with three new charities at the precise moment which, across the ocean, I consider buying three Diet Cokes just to hit the minimum delivery requirement for a breakfast sandwich. [People]

Image via Getty

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