Everyone Is Breaking Up in the Season 6 Trailer for Vanderpump Rules

Yes, that’s six entire seasons. Having successfully apologized her way back into the group, Stassi is back in the cast’s good graces, and Lala is just back—or as Lisa Vanderpump pronounces it, “LAHR-LAH.” Jax and James appear to have gone from being mortal enemies to being fair-weather confidantes. Tom Schwartz and his wife Katie continue to hate each other under the legally binding grips of marriage. Brittany physically attacks Jax in what looks like a relationship that’s about to crumble. And Stassi has yet another birthday shindig. We know this because she yells, “It’s my birthday!” What is a day that isn’t her birthday?

Quotes from the trailer:

“Cheers to being homies, right? -Lala to Katie

“Mexico, put your hands up!” -James

“I think she’s hate-fucking me” -Jax to James

“You’re disgusting.” -Stassi to someone (everyone?)

“You’re the epitome of a gangster bitch.” -Lala to Lisa

“I think we should just break the fuck up.” -Ariana to Tom Sandoval

“Your [::handclap::] man [::handclap::] made out [::handclap::] with [::handclap::] my friend” -Lala

“There’s a lot of skanks in this town.” -Lisa

“This is not good. This is bad.” -Tom Schwartz

“What are they doing thss ss ff?” [Loose translation] -Katie

“Don’t try to ruin another girl’s life.” -Brittany to Jax

“If you do decide to break up with me, can it not be over tonight? Please?” -Stassi

“No one’s gonna tell me how to act in my own home that I pay my bills [in].” -Jax

“It’s my birthday!” -Stassi

“Get off your high horse.” -Ariana

“Learn your fucking place, motherfucker!” -Lala

Although not short of drama, this season (premiering December 4) doesn’t look as entertainingly vicious as seasons past and there is no central villain to serve as a diabolical bond. Where’s Kristen in all this, you ask?