Angelina Jolie may act like she’s no longer fond of being uncomfortably affectionate with family members and playing with her loved ones’ bodily fluids, but the anonymous sources who report on her every move claim she’s just found a more kid-friendly outlet for her obsession with blood. “When Angelina’s kids get cuts and scrapes, she saves their discarded bandages in a large jar,” says a so-called friend. “She thinks she’s being edgy and artistic, but to others, she just seems weird.” The source adds, “She tries to hide it, but she has a crazy side to her that’s beyond just being quirky. In the end, she just can’t hide the crazy.” Particularly because people keep making up increasingly ridiculous rumors about what a nutcase she is. [In Touch]
In actual Angelina Jolie news, she did an interview with 60 Minutes in which she says she’s lucky she didn’t die young. “People can imagine that I did the most dangerous, and I did the worst. . . for many reasons, I shouldn’t be here…You just. . . too many times where you came close to too many dangerous things, too many chances taken too, too far,” she says. “I’m still a bad girl. I still have that side of me. . . it’s just in its place now. . . it belongs to Brad—or our adventures.” [Us]
Lol, in a story that obviously wasn’t planted by the Kardashians, sources say that Kris Humphries was the “HUSBAND FROM HELL”! He belitted Kim, called her stupid, and worst of all, referred to her as “fat ass.” It’s a wonder poor Kim was able to endure 72 days of made up cruelty from this monster. [Us]
Kailyn Lowry of Teen Mom 2 has launched a children’s clothing line called Isaac Elliott Collection by Little Miss Cupcake. Good for her for trying to support her family, but, you know, ugh. [E!]
Check out the spooky trailer for Daniel Radcliffe‘s new film The Woman in Black. [Deadline]
Sources at the L.A. County District Attorney’s Office say they don’t know why Natalie Wood‘s death investigation has been reopened. They think the worst thing anyone could be charged with is involuntary manslaughter and the statute of limitations three years for that crime in California. [TMZ]
Even though Mariah Yeater has seemingly dropped her paternity suit against Justin Bieber, he took a DNA test anyway, just because he got caught up in the excitement of acting out an episode of Maury. [RS]
The world cries out for more boozy Real Housewives chatter and Bravo has obliged by extending Watch What Happens Live to five nights a week. [NYT]
Aaron Sorkin is “strongly considering” writing the Steve Jobs biopic, though, “Right now I’m just in the thinking-about-it stages.” [N.Y. Mag]
Sarah Silverman is working on a pilot for NBC. She’ll star as “a version of herself, a woman who’s newly single after a long relationship.” The network may pair the show with Whitney, if it actually lasts that long. [EW]
Prepare to be enraged, literary nerds: A former employee of Mark Twain House, the writer’s former home turned museum, has been convicted of embezzling more than $1 million from the Connecticut museum. At one point the house was nearly forced to close because it was running out of money. [Reuters, NYT]
Meryl Streep reportedly kept $1 million of what she made for The Iron Lady and donated the rest of her paycheck to fund the National Women’s History Museum. [Celebs]
Jeremy Renner says he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he’s too busy. “I never dated, because I couldn’t afford to date. I didn’t even have electricity. You try to put a positive spin on it, like, ‘Hey, this is so sexy — look at all these candles!'” he says. “But I loved what I was doing. The sacrifices I made in personal relationships had the biggest effect on my life. Even now, any woman would take a No. 2 seat to my job.” [Us]
