I Hearby Demand Donald Trump Hire a Copy Editor

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Newly elected Kansas Congressman Roger Marshall, a long time obstetrician, hopes to unravel the Affordable Care Act and is cool with poor people losing insurance, because, well, he doesn’t seem to really regard them as human beings. “There is a group of people that just don’t want health care and aren’t going to take care of themselves,” he said to STAT news, adding, “Just, like, homeless people. … I think just morally, spiritually, socially, [some people] just don’t want health care.” [STAT]
• Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the former CEO of Exxon-Mobil who is now responsible for American diplomacy and promoting human rights around the world, didn’t feel like showing up to present the State Department’s annual human rights report today. Nor did State Department officials make any comments to highlight findings or condemn abuse outlined in the report. [The Washington Post]
• Prolific tweeter Donald J. Trump misspelled “hereby”…twice…and that was not even the dumbest thing about his series of deleted tweets….

• Former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was forced to resign because he misled White House officials about discussing US sanctions against Russia. Attorney General Jeff Sessions lied about his contact with Russia under oath, and has recused himself from overseeing an investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia. But now Trump is, via Twitter, demanding an investigation into Senator Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s “ties to Russia. Why? As far as I can tell, it’s because Schumer met Putin in 2003, and in 2010 Pelosi had dinner at a table with a Russian ambassador, but recently told a Politico reporter she had never met him. The national outrage isn’t over politicians meeting with a Russian official, though, it’s about the whole politician lying under oath thing. [Twitter]
• Vice President Mike Pence used his private AOL account to talk about state business for while serving as Indiana governor, and Hillary all read about it. [Twitter/NPR]

Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.