It's Global Handwashing Day and You Are Filthy
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Well, it is. That one magical day every fall when Hand Santa-tizer (SORRY) plops down the chimney and fills all the dirty children’s socks with Purell. Make sure you leave some urinal cakes out for him to snack on! Then go scrub your filth.
Global Handwashing Day—which, apparently, occurs every October 15th—is an initiative of the Global Public-Private Partnership for Handwashing with Soap (PPPHW), “a coalition of international stakeholders whose focus is handwashing and child health.” The PPPHW’s stated goals are to improve health and prevent diarrhea and communicable infections in developing countries by promoting proper handwashing. But, of course, there’s no reason why the rest of the globe can’t join in too. After all, we are fucking disgusting.