Lindsay: "You're Just Jealous"; Plot To SATC Sequel Is Somewhat Predictable

By Dodai Stewart | April 9, 2009 | 1:00pm

Since everyone apparently loves a catfight, this report claims that Lindsay Lohan calls Sam Ronson‘s “team” “jealous people with bad fucking energy.” [E!]
“Lindsay‘s Grandmother Is Heartbroken.” Um, headdesk. Michael Lohan’s mom says she hasn’t seen LL in over a year and “I think she needs her family in her life.” Really, we’re interviewing grandmas now? Really? [People]
This report claims that Lindsay is “bereft” over her split with Sam and “the saddest girl in the world.” Adding to the drama is the fact that LL is not working or booking any jobs. [Page Six]
Madonna has been making “tearful” phone calls to Guy Ritchie ever since her adoption attempt was turned down, and Guy has been consoling her. This paper feels the need to add, “Madge being civil is a shock. Almost as shocking as her dressing her age for a night out…” [The Sun]
Is Halle Berry‘s Bazaar cover a Photoshop Of Horrors? [NY Daily News]
Halle says: “I’m usually watching The Biggest Loser, eating Doritos.” And she shops online. But her gorge boyfriend keeps things interesting: “I have a 33-year-old man,” she says. “That’ll keep your mojo mojo-in.” [Ny Daily News]
Have lunch with Jon Hamm. No, really! [Breitbart]
Boo: There is no Kate Moss cook book. Her spokesperson says, “We do not know where it came from but it is definitely false.” [Daily Express]
Some audience members were smoking pot at Britney‘s concert and she told them to cut it out because if lighting or crew members high above the stage got sick or dizzy it would be bad news bears. [Perez]
Nadya Suleman is in talks to do a reality show, though she denies it and so do Lifetime, TLC and Oxygen. Please don’t let it be on Fox, home of The Littlest Groom and Man vs. Beast. [TMZ]
Would you like to know the plot of Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? Highlight this hidden text:
Big cheats on Carrie, DUH. [MSNBC Scoop]
Mischa Barton would like for you to know that she is happy with her body now. “The only way to be happy and be a more enjoyable person to be around is to embrace what you’ve got. Everyone has issues about their body, but I feel confident now. I’m healthy and happy.” Which sucks more: That tabloids used to pick on her cellulite, or that she felt the need to make this statement and pose naked for Cosmo UK? Also, does she work? [The Sun]
Spike Jonze was seen eating eggs with 3-year-old Matilda Ledger; Michelle Williams came and picked them up when they were done. [Page Six]
Squee! Even though they are divorced, Pink and Carey Hart are still trying to make it work! Carey says: “We’re working shit out, I admit it.” I don’t know why I love them together but I do. Sniff. [The Sun]
Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are dunzo; apparently he wanted to get married but she wasn’t ready. [MSNBC Scoop]
Michael Phelps was seen doing shots and making out with his gf at a NYC club. [Gatecrasher]
This video of Hugh Laurie and the cast of House experiencing a pretty awesome April Fool’s prank — in which Laurie actually smiles, briefly — may warm the cockles of your cold and tiny heart. Yes, the cockles. [Videogum]
More women have contacted the LAPD with rape charges against the So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva. The case is still under investigation. [Breitbart]
Seriously, did Bruce Springsteen break up some dude’s marriage by sexing his wife? [MSNBC]
The People cover story this week is about how John Travolta and Kelly Preston are “living with grief” since the death of Jett Travolta. A “pal” says “They aren’t secluding themselves or paralyzed. [Seeing them] was like old times. Nothing awkward and no topics to dance around. There were smiles.” [People]
This article is called “The Day John Lennon Proposed To Me (Pity I Thought He Was Joking!)” [Daily Mail]
Toga, anyone? Liam Neeson will play Zeus and Ralph Fiennes will play Hades in the remake of Clash Of The Titans. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Brittany Murphy has been cast in The Expendables, an action flick with Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and Jet Li. Brittany will play Mickey Rourke‘s girlfriend, and there is nothing creepy about that at all. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Brothers Kieran Culkin and Rory Culkin play brothers in a new movie, Lymelife. [NY Post]
In a wise move, the Pet Shop Boys have rejected a request from PETA that they rename themselves the Rescue Shelter Boys. [BBC News]
Blind item! “Which seemingly straight married actor conducts his man-to-man hanky-panky in the hangar of the Santa Monica Airport?” [Gatecrasher]
“It’s always exciting to work with new people, kind of get new experiences, to see how other people do it. I think that makes you a better moviemaker, ultimately, to work with as many different people as you can. There’s definitely a comfort level I have with Judd [Apatow] — kind of a shorthand, if you will — but I enjoy working with other people still. I’m sure he gets sick of me, too.” — Seth Rogen. [Reuters]
“I have now reluctantly decided that I cannot, in good conscience, continue to be the public face of a charity that is changing beyond recognition from the one with which I have been so proud to be associated.” — JK Rowling, stepping down from her role with the MS Society Scotland, which has internal issues. [Telegraph]
“Because I write them, I already have a tone in my head. I occasionally make the males scream and suffer about their deaths, because I assume that nobody wants to die. Even in mating.” — Isabella Rosselini on filming the bee segment of her Green Porno series. [Time]
“I lived briefly in New York — Garden City — when I was in kindergarten. But I started my performing [in the city] at the Bitter End. That would be 1970. I stayed in Shel Silverstein’s apartment, but I couldn’t tell you where it was. Memory is not my strong suit. I can’t even remember what I had for lunch.” (Did you have some problems with drinking and drugs?) “I never thought of them as a problem, so much as a solution. I probably never would have been able to get up onstage. Now, I mainly drink red wine.” — Kris Kristofferson. [NY Post]
“It was a stupid joke because it rhymes. In the hands of a responsible journalist, humor and sarcasm will be translated appropriately. It was not meant as disrespectful in any way. In England, we have great rhyming slang, and everyone spends their day rhyming. But for all the trouble that comment caused, there were many people who were supportive.” — Sienna Miller, after calling Pittsburgh “Shitsburgh.” [NY Daily News]