Michael Fassbender Is Hollywood's Most Talented Eye-Fucker

CelebritiesDirt Bag

There’s a profile of Michael Fassbender in Elle this week that sort of confirms what we (or at least I) have presumed about him for years: he has the most talented eyes Hollywood.

In the piece, Steve McQueen (who directed Fassbender in Hunger, Shame, and 12 Years a Slave) recalls the first moment he witnessed Fassy’s, uh, special ability:

“Immediately as we walked out the door—Michael had his [motorcycle] helmet on—he was walking down the street and this woman just looked at him, and he looked at her, and it was almost like…it was public sex, and then they passed each other! It was like, Oh my God, we just came out…He has that. He’s always had that. And that is an interesting thing to have.”

The profile goes on to discuss when Fassy lost his V card (he was 18) and how good he is at memorizing his lines (he’s really good), but ends with a reminder of how special those eyes are:

Strolling back through the bar, Fassbender finds himself face-to-lens with a pack of paparazzi ready to shoot. But they don’t. Suddenly they run around him to blast socialite Olivia Palermo, exiting a few steps behind the actor. He turns his head to witness the commotion, catching the eye of a beautiful woman who is staring at him. It’s a moment. Yes, he has that.

OK, I’m going to go run around in the rain for a while.


Ashanti honestly deserves a medal for confronting her stalker in court. Devar Hurd, the alleged creep, claims he met Ashanti in 2003 (she claims he did not), and was convicted “of stalking and harassment for sending crotch-shots to Ashanti’s mom” in 2009.

Exchanges from their court hearing on Thursday—where Hurd acted as his own lawyer—are horrifying.

“I tweeted at you, ‘Eating p—y from the back tastes better on a flight to Russia…Do you know what I’m talking about?”
“Yeah, I saw the tweet, I saw a lot of these tweets as a result of this whole entire situation,” the seething songstress answered.

It went on:

At one point, prosecutor Rachel Ehrhardt asked the singer whether she ever had a romantic relationship with Hurd.
“Absolutely not, never ever,” she replied, prompting Hurd to smile and smirk sarcastically, clearly offended by her answer.

And on:

“Back in 2003, we didn’t meet in Chicago?” he creepily asked. “We didn’t meet at that event, you had on white pants, a bikini-type top?”
“I didn’t meet you,” she answered coolly.

Someone take this woman out for dinner and a stiff drink, if she wants one.

[Page Six]

Tell me you don’t want to read this whole story:

It’s good, I promise.

[Page Six]

  • Geena Davis on a potential Thelma and Louise remake: “Leave it the hell alone!” [E! Online]
  • Miranda Lambert adopted a cat, which seems like a solid replacement for Blake. [Us Weekly]
  • The French want NOTHING to do with those Olsen twins. [Page Six]
  • Rose McGowan moved from LA to NYC ““to be around people that read books.” [Page Six]
  • I’m officially on team Not Kelly Rutherford, I think! [ONTD]
  • Reading about how Hugh Jackman’s mother left him when he was 8 made me sad. [Us Weekly]

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Image via screengrab.

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