Portland, Oregon needs your prayers. Or, at the very least, a whole bunch of plastic bags. There is an as-yet-unidentified man roaming around the city, pooping in public places, and leaving it there for the world to see and smell. Portland residents have begun calling him “The Portland Pooper” because, honestly, there’s no better option.
KOIN, the city’s local CBS affiliate, reported on the serial defecator after a video of him emptying his colon on the wall of an office building was captured by a security camera. One woman they interviewed about the fecal vandal, a resident named Catrina Salazar, told reporters she found it “interesting” that he had toilet paper with him. She’s not wrong!