Earlier this month, someone stole $2000 worth of “racy” calendars from a kiosk in the Metro Atlanta Mall of Georgia. But this wasn’t your average shoplifting job: The thieves left behind placards saying “Sorry, misogyny is out of stock,” “the female body is not a commodity,” and, yes, “fuck the patriarchy.”
WSB-TV spoke to an employee, who said “all the girlie calendars” were taken. Think Sports Illustrated and Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
It gets weirder! WSB-TV reports that someone has claimed responsibility anonymously on a website for “Christian anarchists” called JesusRadicals.com. The perpetrators explain themselves:
Every day on the way to work, we had to walk by this kiosk. Each passing encounter forced a specific sexuality and beauty standard upon us, and we couldn’t take it anymore. We were sick of being told that our worth is equivalent to what aesthetic pleasure our bodies can afford someone else (typically a man).
The post also goes into great detail about how they pulled off this marvelous caper they’re so delighted with, as well as providing helpful hints for your own misadventure. Never mind that if you’ve got to be told to wear face-obscuring hat while stealing, you’re probably never going to be Danny Ocean.
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