The UFC Freedom 250 ‘Ring Girl’ Outfits Are Almost as Appalling as the Concept of ‘Ring Girls’

The 1960s, the same decade that brought us the Pill, Title VII, and the Equal Pay Act, also brought the first “ring girls”—the scantily clad women paraded between rounds of a boxing match. Sixty years of ogling women later, from the original rings on the Las Vegas Strip to behind the shield of the pay-per-view wall, we’ve arrived at the grounds of the highest seat of American power.

UFC Freedom 250, aka Trump’s big 80th-birthday Fight Night, is set to take place Sunday on the South Lawn of the White House. Despite securing sponsorships, TKO—the company financing this $60 million birthday party—is expected to take a $30 million loss on this event. (And since I love being a party pooper, I’ll also add that Trump’s birthday concert series was scrapped after half the musical acts dropped out. So much for his special day.) Ahead of the event, the UFC released photos of the ring girls’ outfits, and they’re about as tacky as Trump’s new Rose Garden. 

“Working closely with UFC, we wanted to create looks that honored both the energy of the brand and the significance of the 250th anniversary celebration,” costume designer Marina Toybina told Maxim, a men’s magazine “catering to the modern man.” She added that the goal was to “blend strength, athleticism, glamour, and American heritage into a wardrobe language that felt sophisticated, powerful, and unmistakably iconic.” The very concept of ring girls is embarrassing enough, but for a spectacle costing $60 million, the outfits look like they were sourced from a defunct Spirit Halloween.

But since I can’t abolish the sexist relic of ring girls from the DNA of a sport I don’t actually give a shit about, enjoy this brief overview/roast of the various UFC Freedom 250 ring girl outfits.

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 A conservative option… for the Conservatives

To avoid ruffling any conservative feathers, all the outfit options are a bit more PG-13 than what you could find on your typical UFC fight night. Whatever prevents Mitch McConnell’s eyes from popping out of his head for the final time works!

If Betsy Ross was on America’s Next Top Model

Designers, make the fugliest dress you can fathom….and remember: Flag Code doesn’t say anything about sequins!

A red carpet option for the Melania 2 premiere

Coming to a theater near you, and you WILL watch it. Also doubles as a semi-formal option for your MAGA cousins’ wedding in Dayton.

Some backup wardrobe from a scrapped Wonder Woman pilot on Paramount+

David Ellison thought it was too woke.

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And to think this is all going down on Flag Day of all days…

Not that anyone cares anymore about the tarnishing of America’s image, so hell, what’s one more circus?