Sarah Palin's New Show Promises Us Man Caves, Freedom and Dirty People

Palin (who is dressed like she just competed in the Iditarod despite the fact that she’s probably sitting in a television studio in Burbank) tells America this show is going to highlight a freedom we get to experience here. That freedom includes being able to build gaudy man caves filled with the heads of dead things, shoot cross bows like we’re training for the goddamn Hunger Games, be trampled by rampaging bulls and be dirty. Thank you, founding fathers. In case you’re wondering, yes, this show takes its cue directly from the Constitution, which says this country was created to protect the freedoms of “trail blazers who aren’t afraid to back down.”

Amen, bald eagle, Ronald Reagan, stuffed crust Pizza Hut pizza BLUE JEANS! Yeah!