The Fashion Was Grosser Than The Canals At The Venice Film Festival

The 68th Venice Film Festival kicked off this week, with many A-listers stepping out to support their own efforts. One of them had to have gotten Valentino’s drippy bronzer smeared on their outfit.

Successfully playing with color, Marisa Tomei wore mustard to The Ides Of March screening, model Natasha Poly showed up to the W.E. screening in fuschia, and Charlene Choi wore green to The Sorcerer And The White Snake photocall.

I’m not familiar with Marina Ripa Di Meana, but she seems like a lot of fun (link NSFW). She showed up at various events this week wearing the best hats.

Kate Winslet punched up a khaki retro silhouette with some sparkly shoes at the Carnage screening.

Evan Rachel Wood’s dramatic version of an Oxford shirt made her my pick for Best Dressed.

Shengyi Huang, Diane Kruger, Carolina Crescentini all did various interpretations of “pretty,” with Kruger coming dangerously close to Glenda the Good Witch.

Valeria Golino (you know, from Big Top Pee-wee) wore a simple black dress with an open back.

Speaking of open backs: Model Valeria Marini also worked one, with a necklace (buttlace?) that ended just above her ass cleavage.

Who does Madonna think she is with the butterfly motif? Mariah Carey?

Natalie Dormer seemed totally under-dressed at the W.E. screening, compared to costars Andrea Riseborough and Abbie Cornish, who went with full ball gowns.

Dressing up as a feather duster—like Takako Tokiwa, Bianca Brandolini, and Vittoria Puccini—was totally on trend. It’s OK. The feather duster was totally the sexiest character in Beauty and the Beast.

Upon closer inspection, it appears that Asia Argento could very easily have a labia slip. Bar Refaeli probably regretted this outfit choice around the second or third time she had to pee. And Vogue Italia—the bastard child of the Vogue brand, if for nothing else, than for associating itself with America’s Next Top Model—EIC Franca Sozzani would actually benefit from a J. Alexander-supervised makeover.

Orange you glad Valentino was around this week? John C. Reilly has perfected the carnival barker look and Eli Roth kept it simple with pants that were perhaps borrowed.

While Diane Kruger came dangerously close to being Glinda the Good Witch, Isabelle Adriani went all in. Cindy Crawford’s dress was meh at best. Meanwhile, Chiara Caselli doesn’t really need to point out her side boob to us, since it’s quite obvious already.

I actually respect how Dynasty Angela Ismailos, Patrizia Pellegrino, and Matilde Brandi got.