Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- The president, a noted vaccine skeptic, recklessly misled the public once again by repeating his (wrong) belief that there has been a “tremendous increase” in autism. [New York Magazine]
- Weird, but Republicans were super reluctant to discuss Mike Flynn’s resignation this morning! Why is that? CNN’s Chris Cuomo asked Rep. Chris Collins. “Well, it’s Valentine’s Day and I guess they’re having breakfast with their wives,” Collins ventured. [CNN]
- Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky), whose brain appears to have fused with his cotton mock turtleneck, says an investigation into Mike Flynn’s resignation would be “excessive,” and that it “makes no sense” to have “Republicans investigate Republicans.” [CNN]
- Top House Democrats quoted a fake Mike Flynn Twitter account today (the New York Times also did, and issued a correction), which is pretty fucking stupid. [The Hill]
- Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Missouri) says that Flynn is “likely” to be asked to testify about his communications with Moscow. FBI investigators believe Flynn was not “entirely forthcoming” in an interview, which, if proven, could result in a felony charge. [The Hill, New York Times]
- Anyway! Violating an arms control treaty, Russia recently deployed a new cruise missile capable of threatening European NATO members. [New York Times]
- The Kremlin reportedly fears that Trump will be impeached or assassinated. [Foreign Policy]
- A fake invoice is circulating online addressed to House Oversight Committee Chair Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) after he claimed protestors at his recent town hall were “paid.” [The Hill]
- But wait, now Chaffetz is gonna probe! He’s launching an investigation into Trump’s handling of sensitive information on the Mar-a-Lago patio, which, as you’ll recall, involved a bunch of unbelievable idiots pointing their phone flashlights at documents concerning a North Korean missile launch while surrounded by random rich guests. [Huffington Post]
- In an 81-19 vote, the Senate confirmed former WWE executive Linda McMahon to lead the Small Business Administration. [AP]
- A House panel voted against requesting the release of Trump’s tax returns, hahahaha! [The Hill]
- Gateway Pundit founder Jim Hoft and his tiny “reporter”/Twinks4Trump creator Lucian Wintrich took a fun pic together at the White House press briefing room lectern in which they flashed a racist hand signal. [MediaMatters]
- Sean Spicer, utterly helpless even in the face of very easy names and words, referred to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau as “Joe.” [Toronto Star]
- In at least 5 cases, the White House has published inaccurate versions of Trump’s executive orders on the White House website. [USA Today]
- Trump signed a bill revoking an Obama regulation that required oil companies to disclose payments to foreign governments. [Politico]
- Canada isn’t immune to rising Trumpism—actually just hold on a sec while I scream into my hair. [Huffington Post]
- Valentine’s Day is truly Bad. [Donald Trump, Jr.’s Twitter account]
Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:
(Similar to yesterday’s muted showing, there was only one truly crazy Trump tweet today. I’d like to make note of this!)
This has been Barf Bag.
