Two-Year-Old Slays National Anthem in the Most Literal Sense of the Word

By Mark Shrayber | February 26, 2015 | 4:30am

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If you’re looking for discernible words and on-key vocalization, you’re going to need to look elsewhere. What this 2-year-old does to the national anthem is something special, but it’s not in the way you’d think. Or it’s exactly in the way you’d think. Basically he sounds like a drunk senior citizen and that is a good thing.

Listen, when I was two years old I was good at only two things: escaping from the watchful eyes of adults and biting the shit out of people who I believed deserved it. The fact that this kid can stand in front of a room full of people and warble his little heart out shows that this kid is more confident than many of us will ever be. Does he forget the words somewhere in the middle? Sure! But he doesn’t care. He’s a great big shining star and no one is bringing him down. NOT EVEN ALL YOU PURISTS WHO DEMAND TECHNICAL EXCELLENCE FROM YOUR “STAR SPANGLED BANNER.” NOT EVEN YOU.