We're in the 'Ryan Zinke Accuses His Critics of Being Alcoholics' Phase of Our Decline 

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Arizona Democrat Rep. Raul Grijalva wrote an op-ed accusing Interior Minister Ryan Zinke of “ethical and managerial failings” and called on him to resign. In response, Zinke released a statement saying, “It’s hard for him to think straight from the bottom of the bottle.” A class act, that one. [CNBC]
• The ACLU is concerned about the trauma inflicted on kids who have been separated from their parents and remain in government custody for months. [CNN]
• World leaders gathered at the G20 summit in Argentia and some bad dudes high-fived each other. [CNN]
• After the White House abruptly canceled a meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Sarah Huckabee Sanders released a statement saying that the Mueller investigation (which she referred to more colorfully as the “Russian Witch Hunt Hoax”) “probably does undermine our relationship with Russia.” [Reuters]
• The Trump administration is allowing five oil and gas companies to conduct “deafening seismic tests” in the Atlantic Ocean, which will endanger thousands of whales, dolphins, and other marine life. [Washington Post]
• Rose Ortega, a green card holder who was sentenced to eight years in prison for mistakenly casting a vote, has lost her second appeal. She is likely to face deportation after serving her sentence. [Star-Telegram]
• Michelle Obama is Becoming a bestselling author. Thank you. [The Hill]
• Federal employees who oppose Trump are told they cannot express their pointed opinions at work. [New York Times]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.