'What's the Worst That Can Happen?' And Other Life Lessons From Oprah's Vogue Feature
LatestIn all her years as the queen of all media, Oprah Winfrey has shared a life’s worth of life lessons, whether whispering or screaming them, and now she is in a Vogue feature story, still forcing us to learn.
Because there is no other way for an Oprah profile to begin, this Oprah profile in the September issue begins with the sentence: “It is the golden hour in the Promised Land, and we are walking down Hallelujah Lane, going to see the Apostles.” As you guessed, the Apostles are trees, and the Promised Land is where Oprah lives, a 65-acre estate in California. So, quite small.
Oprah bought her neighbor’s portion of land when the neighbor died, so her property is even bigger and features “a forest of mature oaks” and “a fountain the size of a lake that shoots water to the heavens” and a teahouse and a rose garden and a duck pond.
Oprah may be the most optimistic person on the planet, but she has at certain points mistimed her optimism, like when she tweeted about breathing after Trump’s election win. She cannot help speaking in self-help language, and so there are multiple life prescriptions throughout her Vogue feature, written by Jonathan Van Meter.
Oprah has learned, for one:
-
According to 'Terrifier' Actress' Lawsuit, the Real Horrors Happened Offscreen By Audra Heinrichs October 29, 2025 | 7:21pm
-
'Jennifer's Body' Was Also Cathartic for Megan Fox By Audra Heinrichs October 28, 2025 | 3:54pm
-
Two More Banks Have Been Implicated in Jeffrey Epstein's Crimes By Audra Heinrichs October 27, 2025 | 4:40pm
-
Bari Weiss Got Herself Some 'Beefy' Bodyguards By Audra Heinrichs October 23, 2025 | 5:51pm
-
Which Piece of Stolen Louvre Jewelry Are You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign By Lauren Tousignant October 23, 2025 | 11:26am
-
County Coroner Who Hoarded 'Rotting Corpses' Ruins Halloween for His Community By Lauren Tousignant October 21, 2025 | 5:39pm
-
CBS Staffers 'Won't Be Punished' for Not Responding to Bari Weiss By Audra Heinrichs October 14, 2025 | 5:47pm
-
Kristi Noem Is Trying to Use Airports to Spread Propaganda By Danielle Han October 14, 2025 | 4:15pm
-
Woman Who Became Household Name for Holding Feet to the Fire Can't Handle Heat on Her Own By Audra Heinrichs October 9, 2025 | 4:27pm
-
Take Jezebel's 2025 Reader Survey By Lauren Tousignant October 7, 2025 | 8:00am
-
Weekly Reader: Stories from Across Paste Media By Lauren Tousignant October 3, 2025 | 8:03pm
-
Oh Nothing, Just the President Posting AI Videos About QAnon Conspiracy Theories By Danielle Han September 29, 2025 | 11:58am
-
Trump Admin Makes Yet Another Anti-Women, Anti-Science Move By Danielle Han September 26, 2025 | 12:19pm
-
Elon Musk's Dad Accused of Sexually Abusing Multiple Children and Stepchildren By Audra Heinrichs September 24, 2025 | 4:25pm
-
After a New Round of Epstein Files, Republicans Are Still Crying Hoax By Audra Heinrichs September 9, 2025 | 3:40pm
-
South Korean Women Sue U.S. Military for Decades-Long Role in Sex Trade By Danielle Han September 9, 2025 | 10:24am
-
Team USA Just Shook Up the Women’s Rugby World Cup By Alyssa Mercante September 3, 2025 | 12:23pm
-
Florida Removed the Pulse Memorial Rainbow Crosswalk Under the Guise of 'Safety' By Audra Heinrichs August 23, 2025 | 10:04am
-
JD Vance Had a Busy Week Getting Booed at Shake Shack & Doing Putin Propaganda By Audra Heinrichs August 21, 2025 | 4:53pm
-
Fooled Us All, Our Flannel Queen By Audra Heinrichs August 20, 2025 | 5:15pm
-
Israel Continues to Justify Killing Journalists By Claiming They're Hamas Terrorists By Audra Heinrichs August 11, 2025 | 6:32pm
-
ICE Is Working Hard to Get More of the Worst Americans to Join Its Ranks By Audra Heinrichs August 8, 2025 | 11:22am
-
Stop Betting on Dildos Being Thrown at WNBA Games, You Fucking Creeps By Alyssa Mercante August 7, 2025 | 4:04pm
-
Cool! Diddy Still Doesn't Think He Did Anything Wrong By Audra Heinrichs July 31, 2025 | 3:29pm
-
Another Boat Carrying Life-Saving Aid for Starving Palestinians Was Intercepted by Israel By Audra Heinrichs July 28, 2025 | 3:40pm
-
AFP Says Its Journalists in Gaza Are Starving to Death By Nora Biette-Timmons July 22, 2025 | 2:47pm
-
How Swedish Soccer Fans Are Changing the Face of Hooliganism By Danielle Han July 15, 2025 | 7:51pm
-
American Horror Story: Butthurt Foreigner Wants New Party After Bad Bill, Botched Epstein Claims By Audra Heinrichs July 8, 2025 | 4:18pm
-
Caitlin Clark Exposes the WNBA’s Officiating Problems...Again By Alyssa Mercante June 18, 2025 | 5:24pm
-
Karen Read Found Not Guilty in Nail-Biting Verdict By Audra Heinrichs June 18, 2025 | 4:26pm
-
Targeted Violence Disrupted 'No Kings' Rallies in Virginia, Texas, Utah, and More By Audra Heinrichs June 16, 2025 | 3:51pm
-
Justin Baldoni Threatens to Refile His Countersuit After a Judge Threw It Out By Audra Heinrichs June 10, 2025 | 11:53am
-
Key Trump Court Nominees Claimed Abortion Pills 'Starve Babies to Death' By Kylie Cheung May 29, 2025 | 12:08pm
-
Ms. Rachel Says World Leaders Should 'Be Ashamed' of Silence on Genocide, 'Anti-Palestinian Racism' By Kylie Cheung May 28, 2025 | 11:01am
-
Texas Came Way Too Close to Passing Bill Making It Harder to Challenge Anti-Abortion Laws in Court By Kylie Cheung May 27, 2025 | 11:55am
-
Kristi Noem Is Blocking International Students from Harvard, Accuses School of Being ‘Chinese Communist Party’ By Kylie Cheung May 23, 2025 | 1:15pm
-
Nancy Mace Stays Up ‘All Night’ Programming Bots on Social Media, Ex-Aide Alleges By Kylie Cheung May 22, 2025 | 3:02pm
-
Hmm! Let's See How Many Ways Knicks Fans Can Compare Wednesday Night's Game to 9/11 By Kylie Cheung May 22, 2025 | 1:28pm
-
Rep. Gerry Connolly Dies at 75, the 3rd House Democrat to Die in Office in 3 Months By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 2:37pm
-
Nancy Mace Maintains Rape, Exploitation Allegations While Sharing Nude Photo of Herself By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 12:58pm