You're Never Too Young To Start Stealing Botox
Latest- A 29-year-old Florida woman was arrested late Monday night for stealing Botox and other cosmetic treatments from local doctors. Maria Elizabeth Chrysson has been slapped with three charges of grand theft and the alliterative and creative nickname “The Beauty Bandit.”
- A 33-year-old Brooklyn high school teacher was recently caught on tape faking a fall in order to miss her scheduled performance review. Security cameras show the unhappy woman throwing herself down a flight of stairs in a “controlled fall.” Ilene Feldman denies that the tumble was anything other than an accident, however, when confronted with the tape she chose to resign rather than relive her clumsy attempt to avoid classroom observation.
- Breaking: everything will give you cancer. Including, possibly, the UV lights used to dry polish at nail salons.
- Does Sarah Palin really have a Facebook strategy? Sushannah Walshe thinks so. Palin, who has over 2 million online “friends,” is apparently very “hands on” with her social media. “Anything that goes under her name is hers,” says a staffer. I believe it.
- Ye Haiyan, member of the China Women’s Rights Workshops and advocate for sex workers’ rights, was detained by plainclothes officers on Monday, less than a week after she called for the legalization of prostitution. Ye Haiyan’s sister told reporters that police said they were taking Haiyan for several days of “studies.” Prostitution is illegal in China, though the government recently ordered a ban on “prostitute parades,” which officials organized to shame suspected sex workers.
- The woman known as Tokyo’s oldest resident has been missing for decades. Fusa Furuya, aged 113, hasn’t been seen since the 1980s, according to her daughter. Her absence was only brought to light after officials discovered that Tokyo’s oldest man had been dead for over 30 years.
- News that will surprise absolutely no one: Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi is into group sex. A prostitute testified at a corruption inquiry that she spent the night with Berlusconi – along with two other women.
- Did you know that sleeping on your stomach can change the shape of your boobs? In order to prevent this tragedy, wedge a pillow between them and sleep on your side (or just buy a Kush!). The Checkup has some other fun body facts, including why your bellybutton smells and an explanation of tingling thighs.
- Government-funded homeless shelters have recently noticed an increasing in the number of older women seeking housing. Sadly, we still don’t really have a good idea of how many women are without shelter. “The census count of about 46,000 homeless women on any given night is a blunt tool because women are hidden, they don’t sleep rough at night because of the dangers and boarding houses are largely unsafe for women,” explained Ludo McFerran from the Older Women’s Network.
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According to 'Terrifier' Actress' Lawsuit, the Real Horrors Happened Offscreen By Audra Heinrichs October 29, 2025 | 7:21pm
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'Jennifer's Body' Was Also Cathartic for Megan Fox By Audra Heinrichs October 28, 2025 | 3:54pm
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Two More Banks Have Been Implicated in Jeffrey Epstein's Crimes By Audra Heinrichs October 27, 2025 | 4:40pm
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Bari Weiss Got Herself Some 'Beefy' Bodyguards By Audra Heinrichs October 23, 2025 | 5:51pm
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Which Piece of Stolen Louvre Jewelry Are You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign By Lauren Tousignant October 23, 2025 | 11:26am
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County Coroner Who Hoarded 'Rotting Corpses' Ruins Halloween for His Community By Lauren Tousignant October 21, 2025 | 5:39pm
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CBS Staffers 'Won't Be Punished' for Not Responding to Bari Weiss By Audra Heinrichs October 14, 2025 | 5:47pm
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Kristi Noem Is Trying to Use Airports to Spread Propaganda By Danielle Han October 14, 2025 | 4:15pm
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Woman Who Became Household Name for Holding Feet to the Fire Can't Handle Heat on Her Own By Audra Heinrichs October 9, 2025 | 4:27pm
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Take Jezebel's 2025 Reader Survey By Lauren Tousignant October 7, 2025 | 8:00am
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Weekly Reader: Stories from Across Paste Media By Lauren Tousignant October 3, 2025 | 8:03pm
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Oh Nothing, Just the President Posting AI Videos About QAnon Conspiracy Theories By Danielle Han September 29, 2025 | 11:58am
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Trump Admin Makes Yet Another Anti-Women, Anti-Science Move By Danielle Han September 26, 2025 | 12:19pm
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Elon Musk's Dad Accused of Sexually Abusing Multiple Children and Stepchildren By Audra Heinrichs September 24, 2025 | 4:25pm
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After a New Round of Epstein Files, Republicans Are Still Crying Hoax By Audra Heinrichs September 9, 2025 | 3:40pm
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South Korean Women Sue U.S. Military for Decades-Long Role in Sex Trade By Danielle Han September 9, 2025 | 10:24am
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Team USA Just Shook Up the Women’s Rugby World Cup By Alyssa Mercante September 3, 2025 | 12:23pm
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Florida Removed the Pulse Memorial Rainbow Crosswalk Under the Guise of 'Safety' By Audra Heinrichs August 23, 2025 | 10:04am
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JD Vance Had a Busy Week Getting Booed at Shake Shack & Doing Putin Propaganda By Audra Heinrichs August 21, 2025 | 4:53pm
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Fooled Us All, Our Flannel Queen By Audra Heinrichs August 20, 2025 | 5:15pm
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Israel Continues to Justify Killing Journalists By Claiming They're Hamas Terrorists By Audra Heinrichs August 11, 2025 | 6:32pm
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ICE Is Working Hard to Get More of the Worst Americans to Join Its Ranks By Audra Heinrichs August 8, 2025 | 11:22am
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Stop Betting on Dildos Being Thrown at WNBA Games, You Fucking Creeps By Alyssa Mercante August 7, 2025 | 4:04pm
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Cool! Diddy Still Doesn't Think He Did Anything Wrong By Audra Heinrichs July 31, 2025 | 3:29pm
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Another Boat Carrying Life-Saving Aid for Starving Palestinians Was Intercepted by Israel By Audra Heinrichs July 28, 2025 | 3:40pm
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AFP Says Its Journalists in Gaza Are Starving to Death By Nora Biette-Timmons July 22, 2025 | 2:47pm
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How Swedish Soccer Fans Are Changing the Face of Hooliganism By Danielle Han July 15, 2025 | 7:51pm
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American Horror Story: Butthurt Foreigner Wants New Party After Bad Bill, Botched Epstein Claims By Audra Heinrichs July 8, 2025 | 4:18pm
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Caitlin Clark Exposes the WNBA’s Officiating Problems...Again By Alyssa Mercante June 18, 2025 | 5:24pm
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Karen Read Found Not Guilty in Nail-Biting Verdict By Audra Heinrichs June 18, 2025 | 4:26pm
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Targeted Violence Disrupted 'No Kings' Rallies in Virginia, Texas, Utah, and More By Audra Heinrichs June 16, 2025 | 3:51pm
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Justin Baldoni Threatens to Refile His Countersuit After a Judge Threw It Out By Audra Heinrichs June 10, 2025 | 11:53am
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Key Trump Court Nominees Claimed Abortion Pills 'Starve Babies to Death' By Kylie Cheung May 29, 2025 | 12:08pm
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Ms. Rachel Says World Leaders Should 'Be Ashamed' of Silence on Genocide, 'Anti-Palestinian Racism' By Kylie Cheung May 28, 2025 | 11:01am
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Texas Came Way Too Close to Passing Bill Making It Harder to Challenge Anti-Abortion Laws in Court By Kylie Cheung May 27, 2025 | 11:55am
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Kristi Noem Is Blocking International Students from Harvard, Accuses School of Being ‘Chinese Communist Party’ By Kylie Cheung May 23, 2025 | 1:15pm
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Nancy Mace Stays Up ‘All Night’ Programming Bots on Social Media, Ex-Aide Alleges By Kylie Cheung May 22, 2025 | 3:02pm
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Hmm! Let's See How Many Ways Knicks Fans Can Compare Wednesday Night's Game to 9/11 By Kylie Cheung May 22, 2025 | 1:28pm
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Rep. Gerry Connolly Dies at 75, the 3rd House Democrat to Die in Office in 3 Months By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 2:37pm
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Nancy Mace Maintains Rape, Exploitation Allegations While Sharing Nude Photo of Herself By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 12:58pm