20 Predictions about Taylor Swift’s Wedding, From a Psychic in Training

The National Guard is in place; the NDAs have been signed; a castle was being constructed on the floor of the Madison Square Garden; then it wasn’t; a wedding dress designer was maybe confirmed; Stevie Knicks is warming up her vocal cords; forklifts are unloading pallets of lobster and French fries; and the infamous private jet…………has landed in New York City. It’s time.

We are officially T-minus 24 hours from the start of the most exclusive party in the history of mankind, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s nuptials/mystery celebration this Friday at MSG. All week, the leaked details from tabloids and on-the-ground investigators have become a tsunami. I am terrified, not just for the inevitable internet firestorm that is sure to come, but also because every minute I don’t spend monitoring the internet for speculative updates risks leaving me—irreparably—out of the loop.

At the beginning of 2026, in our yearly celebrity predictions roundup, Jezebel predicted that Swift would indeed perform at her own wedding. Back then, we knew nary a detail about what the nuptials would be like, and six months later, the theory still seems plausible, given that we now know Swift chose “the World’s Most Famous Arena” for the event. The permits filed with the city claimed up to 1,000 guests could be in attendance, and knowing a thousand musicians, athletes, and cultural icons will be under one roof with no phone cameras, my curiosity takes over.

Given our record of sometimes being correct with our forecasts—like correctly predicting Michael B. Jordan would win the Oscar for Sinners—here are 20 more predictions about the wedding, from a perfectly sane individual, aka me, who is maybe psychic or maybe just really smart and intuitive. Time will tell. 

---

1. Charli XCX is not invited…
This one’s a kind of a given.

2. Ed Kelce brings his new girlfriend…DRAMA
The groom’s father, Ed, 75, recently made tabloid headlines when he hard-launched his new girlfriend. (It was probably a slow news day.) I predict Ed will bring his new GF as his plus-one, but when she tries to sneak into the family photos…chaos will ensue.

3. Sombr gets lost 🙁
Taylor’s adopted son, Sombr, is reportedly invited, as are up to 1,000 other individuals. But given that the bride will be busy with her wedding, Sombr will be left all alone to wander the rafters of MSG. He will never be seen again.

4. Taylor and Karlie Kloss exchange polite small talk
All that stuff is in the past (or on a secret album). The two might even share a chuckle!

5. Lena Dunham will write a Substack essay about the reception
And I will read it, and it will be genius.

6. Travis will call Taylor his “partner in crime” in his vows
Best friend, confidante, other half, rock, all of the above. 

7. The song “Love Story” will NOT play
The DJ has been told this song is on the DO NOT PLAY list. It’s too on the nose. Also on the DNP list: Kanye.

8. Jason Kelce won’t remember which Haim is which
I know Taylor explained it to him, but he still gets confused.

9. Joni Mitchell leaks the first photos from the inside.
She snuck her second phone in… Joni, girl, you’ve been misbehaving tonight!

10. Table 74, the table of shame: Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds, Keleigh & Miles Teller.
I think these disgraced couples will be invited, despite rumors that they were snubbed, but they will have to sit together in the back. 

11. Benny Blanco will pass out due to heat exhaustion
NYC will be over 100 degrees this weekend, so everyone will be sweaty, but especially Benny.

12. Something old: That bang. Something new: Opalite earrings. Something borrowed: The entirety of Midtown. Something blue: Travis’s big toe. 
And a sixpence in your shoe.

13. A questionable politician will be in attendance…
And we’ll all be like…What? Ok…

14. Paul McCartney joins Ice Spice on the dance floor for “No Hands” by Roscoe Dash and Waka Flocka Flame
They are mutual fans!

15. Zohran Mamdani will congratulate the newlyweds via tweet
Lest he want to make himself an enemy of the Swifties…

16. Alysa Liu!?
What are you doing here???

17. Shotski with Mama Swift, Bradley Cooper, Ellen Pompeo, and Ellen
Dream blunt rotation

18. Selena’s maid of honor speech will be written by ChatGPT 
She still receives praise.

19. Druski and Andy Reid talk politics during the cake cutting
Only for like 5 minutes, but it’s enough that other people in the conversation walk away.

20. The wedding will be available to stream on Disney+ in two months
Pay up.

---

And they lived happily ever after.