5SOS Pens a Beautifully Sexist Ode to a Bitchy GF, Fights The Man


5 Seconds of Summer, also known as 5SOS, the band from down under who brought you THE song of last summer, is back with a new jam, a song about a girl who pretty much sucks, but luckily, she’s really really hot. Oh and also, grown-ups are oppressing us.

The song begins thusly, a screeching refrain that sounds like The Offspring-lite:

My girlfriend’s bitchin’ cause I always sleep in
She’s always screaming when she’s calling her friends
She’s kinda hot though
Yeah she’s kinda hot though
My shrink is telling me I’ve got crazy dreams
She’s also saying I’ve got low self-esteem
She’s kinda hot though
Yeah she’s kinda hot though

Oh! But wait! The song isn’t really about a shitty GF and a therapist who is Too Real, but about how the adults and Debbie-Downers are oppressing the youth in every possible way.

My friend left college cause it felt like a job
His mum and dad both think he’s a slob
He’s got a shot though
Yeah, he’s got a shot though
When you’ve got bigger plans
That no one else understands
You’ve got a shot though

5SOS continues:

They say we’re losers but we’re all alright with that
We’re all believers that they’re not coming back
But we’re alright though
Yeah we’re alright though
We are the kings and the queens of the new broken scene
Yeah we’re alright though

“Our boys are starting a new era,” one of their fans wrote on Vine before this track was released. Sweetie, I lived through the early aughts, suffering under the burden of bands like Mest and Good Charlotte. This is the same old era all over again.

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