A Nightmare Ed Sheeran Video, a Dopamine-Spiking House Track, and SZA Goes Full Martial Arts

By Jezebel Staff | April 27, 2018 | 8:13pm

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Sure: SZA feat. Kendrick Lamar, “Doves in the Wind” — SZA rides a horse with style, Kendrick Lamar levitates, and his alter ego Kung Fu Kenny plays the master teacher in SZA’s narrative sendup of classic martial arts films, complete with chin-stroking tropes and ninja imagery that’s dramatically cliché in parts. –Clover Hope

I dunno: J. Cole, “Kevin’s Heart” — Kevin Hart plays the lead in the music video for J. Cole’s song about battling sexual temptations and the difficulty of trying not to “fuck a good thing up.” Hart, whose infidelity got exposed, walks around town to disapproving, judgmental glares, so I guess the message is that it sucks to face judgment after a private offense becomes public. OK. At the end, a message in the clouds reads: “Choose wisely.” –CH

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HELL YEA: Janelle Monáe, “I Like That” — Last week, Jezebel’s Culture Editor Clover Hope said “yes” to the latest from Monáe’s forthcoming “emotion film.” Thankfully (unsurprisingly?) the visual is just as stunning—a celebration of self, specifically, herself—with Monáe surrounded by various Monáes in iconic looks, and all of them stare deep into the camera, reciting moments of potential insecurity and inevitable autonomy. I’m feelin’ myself after a few views. –Maria Sherman

Y: Xinobi feat. Margarida Falcão, “Far Away Place (Tensnake Remix)” — In the hands of German producer Tensnake, Xinobi’s 2017 dreamy house cut “Far Away Place” becomes a disco stomper that sounds straight outta ’82. I love how clean and mean this is, like something from a school-dance scene from a cheesy slasher flick. Ferocious. –Rich Juzwiak

Y: Lele Sacchi, “Dreaming Won’t Do (Tiger & Woods Nightmare Mix)” — I can’t remember the last time I heard a house track so obsequious. Every eight bars, this thing ascends, provoking dopamine spikes every time. A limber bass line echoes Patrick Cowley, a cheery, filtered disco sample sharpens in the background, classic-house piano joins in. This is fireworks. –RJ

Y: The Internet, “Roll (Burbank Funk)” — There’s nothing I love more than roller skating to a song made for roller skating, though I don’t do it nearly as often as I’d like. This trippy, slurring rhythm of this song is designed for slow spins and skating while high, which would probably not be a good idea, or maybe it would. Either way, I dig it. –CH

Y: Taylor Girlz f. Kap G, “One Percent” — Emo is having a comeback thanks to Princess Nokia, SoundCloud rappers, and various Good Charlotte adjacent randos, but I can think of nothing more wrenchingly emo than the thought of having only one percent charge, in any situation. Taylor Girlz opine about it mercilessly on this terrifically depressing koan. “Airplane mode… I’m a number-blocking ho.” Same. God. How do they know my life? –Julianne Escobedo Shepherd

SURE: Jennifer Lopez, “El Anillo” — The song’s all right—a high-energy, baile funk-adjacent relationship-power song in the vein of “Single Ladies”—but I like the video, where J. Lo’s serving us Cersei realness and borrowing a few more tricks from queen Beyoncé, down to the water dance. Not quite sure about the Wakanda references—did you reaaaally need to go down the road of an Angela Bassett-in-Black Panther wig, mujer—but the drama’s there and I can’t wait for the other looks to end up on Drag Race. –JES

LMAO, NO, BUT THEN MAYBE: Ed Sheeran, “Happier” — The song is whatever—an Ed Sheeran sob-fest about how some man has stolen his woman, proving to us once again that, yes, he is a virile and sexual human being with whom women want to fuq. But this video is doing a lot for a whole little. Perhaps that’s the point: a boring song needs visuals that let a felt avatar of Ed Sheeran drink, smoke, cry, and beat up a red Koosh ball with eyes because the real Ed Sheeran couldn’t do that. The girl is made of balloons, by the way. She floats away. Spoiler. Sorry. –Megan Reynolds