A Salute to Ice Dancing, Institutionalized Face-Sitting on Skates
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There are many sports in the Winter Olympics, all with varying levels of sex appeal. Cross country skiing is on the lower end of the spectrum, while luge (lube…) is all the way at the top. But there is only one that makes me weep from three holes, and that’s ice dancing.
On Sunday evening, Americans who tuned into NBC’s broadcast of the Events at Pyeongchang were treated to a buffet of drama served to you in flamboyantly be-studded lycra atop four gleaming skates. And my loins were awakened for spring as I, and my fellow Americans, discovered our new sexual orientation, which is specifically having an athlete thrust me into the air via my crotch pocket, while a mis-ordered “El Tango De Roxanne/Come What May” mash-up plays.