All the Highlights and Lowlights of Trump’s Wild 4th Indictment

Late Monday night, a Fulton County District Attorney announced that former President Donald Trump was indicted—for the fourth time—on 13 felony charges and for leading a “criminal racketeering enterprise” to try to overturn Georgia’s 2020 election results. Trump and 18 co-defendants(!) were charged under Georgia’s Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) statute, which, yes, is the law Rudy Giuliani famously wielded against the mob. Others charged include former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, Justice Department official Jeffrey Clark, and whackadoodle lawyers Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, and, of course, Giuliani himself.

If you’re having trouble keeping track, the previous three indictments of Trump were over hush money payments to Stormy Daniels, keeping classified documents after he left office, and planning the January 6th insurrection. (These are in addition to the civil case where a jury found Trump liable for sexual abuse of the writer E. Jean Carroll and awarded Carroll $5 million in damages.)

But this fourth indictment is hitting different than the others. Everyone is losing their minds over it, either with laughter (the left) or indignant rage (the right). Here are all the highlights and lowlights of the shit hitting the fan, in case you missed any good ones.

New York University law professor Melissa Murray explained that this latest criminal indictment is a big deal: State charges mean a future Republican president can’t pardon Trump—nor can Georgia’s governor—and some of his 18 co-defendants might flip because they’re facing minimum sentences of five years. (Trump is reportedly worried about people flipping on him in the January 6 case where there are six un-indicted co-conspirators. It’s three times as many here!)

Fulton County Sheriff Pat Labat told local media earlier this month that if Trump were to be indicted, he planned to follow standard procedure, which includes taking a booking photo. In Trump’s previous arraignments, he’s only had his fingerprints taken. “Unless somebody tells me differently, we are following our normal practices, and so it doesn’t matter your status, we’ll have a mugshot ready for you,” Labat said.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was booked on MSNBC Monday night, apparently to discuss other things, and was on with Rachel Maddow when the indictment news broke. She let out a delicious laugh.

I’m sorry this is just funny.

RICO-lover Giuliani was on Newsmax a few days ago saying that Hunter Biden should be charged under racketeering laws. It’s beautiful.

Don Jr’s fiancée, former Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle, tried to argue on Newsmax that Trump’s prosecutions were political, but instead just pointed out the fact that Trump has committed a bunch of crimes in public. “John Gotti never even had four indictments at once. There’s no mob boss, let alone...they do this to President Trump,” she said. Thanks Kim for noting that Trump is even more of a criminal than the notorious head of the Gambino crime family!

Lawyer Jenna Ellis is Pinterest posting “live laugh love” Pinterest shit the morning after her indictment. “The Democrats and the Fulton County DA are criminalizing the practice of law,” she wrote. Sweetie, you can practice law but you can’t break it.

Kanye West’s former publicist, Trevian Kutti, is one of the 18 co-defendants charged. Kutti was recorded on video trying to pressure Fulton County election worker Ruby Freeman to say there was election fraud when there was none. Kutti was charged with “conspiracy to commit solicitation of false statement and writings” and “influencing witnesses.” Harrison Floyd, the former director of Black Voices for Trump, was charged alongside Kutti for his role in setting up the meeting with Freeman.

Trump, Giuliani, and other Republicans tried to smear Ruby Freeman and her daughter, Shaye Freeman Moss, by claiming the election workers engaged in fraud. The pair testified before Congress last summer about receiving death threats and the effect on their lives. This indictment proves where the real fraud was coming from.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) said on Fox News: “This should be decided at the ballot box and not in a bunch of liberal jurisdictions trying to put the man in jail.” Buddy, the whole issue is that Trump is accused of trying to throw out people’s votes.

Sen. Ted Cruz also went on Fox to whine. He said: “This is Joe Biden and this is the Democrats weaponizing the justice system because they’re afraid of the voters.”

Fulton County DA Fani Willis said the grand jury issued arrest warrants but she is letting defendants instead turn themselves in by 12pm on Friday, August 25. She’s also seeking a trial to begin within the next six months.

Willis said she planned to try all 19 defendants at the same time. Gonna be packed in that courtroom!