What’s the stupidest thing your ex has done online after you broke up? I’ll go first! One of mine began sharing my work on his Instagram stories with lame captions like “points were made!” or three fire emojis. Men are dumb on a normal day, but when they’re sad? Prepare to giggle. In fact, I’m sure Katy Perry is doing just that right about now.
On Wednesday, Perry’s ex-fiancé of six years, Orlando Bloom, re-posted a carousel of musings supposedly from the Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Jung (and shared by an account called @sapienkind). Tell us you didn’t meet anyone worthwhile at the Bezos wedding without telling us you didn’t meet anyone worthwhile at the Bezos wedding, am I right?
“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness,” the first post read. No disrespect to Jung but…would it, though? If all my causes of sadness (the “big, beautiful bill,” boiling temperatures, and hey, the Bezos wedding) were gone, I think I’d still know happiness.
There’s a second quote: “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.” So, those rumors about Bloom telling Perry he was embarrassed by her 11-minute space mission weren’t true???
It’s been two weeks since news of the couple’s separation hit the headlines. According to People, the pop star-cum-space explorer’s many career shortcomings played a big role in the relationship’s demise.
“Katy was deeply frustrated following the reception of her new album,” one purported “insider” told the magazine in June. “It made her very stressed. Orlando was understanding, but it did cause some tension.” Another source added: “She was also disappointed in some of the tour reviews. It’s put stress on their relationship.”
Since then, Perry has been on her Lifetimes tour—weathering the rumors, crying on stage, and, like Bloom, posting through it. The same day Bloom landed in Venice for the Bezos wedding, she just so happened to post a series of photos on Instagram that showed her playing cards, dancing on the beach, and smiling maniacally beside a quokka. She was also sure to include a photo of her and Bloom’s four-year-old daughter, who appears to be with her as Bloom partied in Italy. Who has time to be a dad when being cringe is a full-time job?
I don’t know guys, I think Perry has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever and just start posting Freud.
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