Avril Lavigne: Pray For Me and My Undisclosed Health Issue

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Avril Lavigne is suffering from an undisclosed health issue, asking fans to “keep me in your prayers.” On December 7, a Twitter fan account, @AvrilMusicChart posted a screenshot of a DM exchange they had with the singer, in which she revealed that she hasn’t been in the studio because she’s not feeling well:

“I feel bad because I haven’t been able to say anything to the fans to let them no [sic] why I’ve been absent,” Lavigne wrote. “I’m torn as I’m quite private…. I’m not feeling well. I’m having some health issues. So please keep me in your prayers.”

Billboard associate editor Jason Lipshutz tweeted yesterday that he’d spoken to Lavigne’s rep, who, he said, “Could not specify health issue but sounded very concerned. Confirmed it’s not pregnancy.”

Get well soon, Avril, so we can freely josh you about how being married to the guy from Sum 41 and then the guy from Nickelback and then releasing this video into the world would be enough to make anyone ill. [Billboard]

Teresa Guidice is heading to prison in about five weeks to begin a 15-month sentence on fraud charges, and she’s whiling away her remaining time making cooking videos and acting weirdly chill about the whole thing. Guidice teamed up with Glam magazine to make a video about angel hair pasta with spicy shrimp:

“You would never believe anything is wrong with her,” an unnamed source “close to” Guidice and her husband told People. “You would never know she is going to prison from the way she is acting.”

How is she supposed to act? Eating carbohydrates and Gettin’ Real Paid seems as sensible as anything. [People]

Pippa Middleton freely admits that her butt is not as majestic as Kim Kardashian‘s butt. She also thinks Americans have an obsession with butts, which, don’t be ridiculous! We’ve merely been talking about yours since you wore a dress to your sister’s wedding three goddamn years ago.

Middleton wrote in her apparently regular column in the Spectator:

No year is complete without a bottom story, and the ‘Rear of 2014’ award undoubtedly goes to Kim Kardashian, after her posterior exploded all over the internet last month. I must say that mine — though it has enjoyed fleeting fame — is not comparable. But the Kim butt story did make me pause. What is it with this American booty culture? It seems to me to be a form of obsession. Kim’s aim, apparently, was to break the internet, but I’m not sure she’s going the right way about it.

At least Kim monetized everyone’s obsession with her butt, Pippa, which you’ve utterly failed to do. The rest of Pippa’s column features weird, random, barely strung-together ruminations about her experiences Christmas shopping, salmon fishing and “cowboy dancing.” Reading it makes me feel like I’m missing something about British culture, so I guess we’re even. [Spectator]

  • Niall Horan, one of the bearded zygotes in One Direction, tweeted a photo of the band, but his band-mate and fellow whiskered fetus Zayn Malik was missing. Now 1D fans are extensively losing their shit on Twitter, fearing that this means a breakup. [Inquisitr]
  • Today in trying too hard: Dave Navarro, who is 47 years old, has created a guitar strap that can also be used as a BDSM restraint. Any guitar strap can be used as a kinky sex tool if you’re creative, Dave. In the same article, he reveals that his safe word is “Chappaquiddick,” the name of an island where a young woman died in an infamous incident with Ted Kennedy. I dunno. All these ideas need some workshopping to suck less. [TMZ]
  • Police reportedly discovered ten pounds of marijuana at the house of Earl Hayes and Stephanie Mosley. Hayes shot and killed Mosley on Monday, then committed suicide. The weed had a reported street value of $40,000, and had to be taken to the police lab under armed guard. [TMZ]
  • Russell Brand wrote a politically-tinged retelling of the Pied Piper story and read it to a classroom full of New York school children, complaining all the while that he was being “censored” because the school’s librarian wouldn’t let him read the “scatalogical” parts. [New Yorker]
  • Wacka Flocka Flame‘s cough drop ad, which is basically just an extended weed joke, has been banned from CBS and NBC. [Page Six]
  • Kendall Jenner is firing her mom as her manager, because she “sees through her BS” and also everyone in this family sounds healthy and functional. [Radar]
  • The Empire State Building will be lit up in honor of Taylor Swift. The Empire State Building’s management refused to go gold in September for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, but will recognize the far important cause of T. Swift Awareness. [Metro New York]
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