Barack Obama Is Probably Not Coming to Save Us

Barack Obama Is Probably Not Coming to Save Us
Image: (Getty)

There is a point in many superhero movies when our hero must leave the fray and muck about in a cave with Liam Neeson for a while before returning to defeat the bad guy in the third act. While the audience knows that the hero has not forsaken those in need of a savior, citizens cry out for their champion, convinced they are all alone. When the hero finally returns to banish the bad guys, the commoners rejoice, swearing they will never again doubt him.

Today’s Politico thinkpiece “Waiting on Obama” focuses on the idea that former President Obama might also be mucking about having a good long think in a cave before emerging to save the 2020 election. Politico interviewed presidential historian Douglas Brinkley, who says that Obama is just trying to be the “trying to be the cerebral political thinker” when it comes to deciding how best to fight the supervillains walling off the U.S. and keeping humans in cages.

Meanwhile, “presidential pilgrims,” with the exception of Gabbard and Yang, continue to seek his advice and endorsement at his D.C. offices.

But there is no truth to those rumors circulating the muttering masses that the former president, who recently assured wealthy donors that “The average American doesn’t think we have to completely tear down the system and remake it,” will be looking to take out Bernie Sanders as well as Trump in the drama’s thrilling conclusion. Unless, of course, there is some truth to them:

“When it comes to Sanders, I asked one close adviser whether Obama would really lay himself on the line to prevent a Sanders nomination. ‘I can’t really confirm that,’ the adviser said. ‘He hasn’t said that directly to me. The only reason I’m hesitating at all is because, yeah, if Bernie were running away with it, I think maybe we would all have to say something. But I don’t think that’s likely. It’s not happening.’ (Another close Obama friend said, ‘Bernie’s not a Democrat.’)”

Looks like it’s going to be a thrilling third act, citizens. [Politico]

Let’s barf, shall we?

  • Jared Kushner’s oversight of the border wall is alarming in that he is most likely a sociopath but also reassuring in that he is also incredibly incompetent. [Washington Post]
  • President Trump wonders why we didn’t start celebrating the women’s suffrage centennial a long time ago. [The Hill]
  • Trump has the right to appear at next week’s House Judiciary Committee impeachment hearings, starting December 4, but will most likely use this opportunity to bitch about them from the golf course instead. [HuffPost]
  • Meanwhile, Melania Trump, dressed like a cowboy detective, was booed at a “Be Best” event. [Buzzfeed]
  • Billionaires love Tom Steyer, Michael Bloomberg, not paying taxes, and probably speculating about what a “student loan” might be. [Axios]
  • Joe Biden, smarting from Cory Booker’s sick debate burn, may have tried medical cannabis for the first time. Whatever the reason, he’s changed his tune on gateway drugs. [The Boston Globe]
  • Biden and Pete Buttigieg still topping the polls. [Quinnipiac Poll]
  • Go away Pete. [CNN]
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