Britney's Lame "Comeback"; Chris Brown & Rihanna Together In Miami

By Dodai Stewart | March 2, 2009 | 2:00pm

Britney’s comeback tour isn’t selling so well, and Brit Brit might be singing to empty seats. She’s all: “My loneliness… is killing me…” [MSNBC]
Fans are “stunned” that Rihanna and Chris Brown have reconciled, and are hanging out together at the Miami home of Sean “Diddy” Combs. [Reuters]
Chris Brown was seen Saturday and Sunday, jet skiing around Miami’s Star island, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. [Yahoo News via E!, People]
Chris Brown was not, however, partying with Reggie Bush and Khloe Kardashian: Apparently Reggie’s best friend looks “just like” Chris Brown. [People]
This story begins, “Sorry, Chris Brown haters. The R&B star maybe isn’t quite as awful as some media reports are making him out to be.” Since he wasn’t out partying Saturday night. But what about, you know, how he punched a woman in the face? [NY Daily News]
Chris Brown has also been recording tracks for his new album while in Miami. Let the terrible feeling that there will be an apology track wash over you. [E!]
Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson ate dog biscuits on German TV to promote Marley & Me. This is not a joke. Jen said: “They’re a little dry.” [Gatecrasher]
Lindsay Lohan has been eschewing pants. She’s not even wearing leggings anymore. Just tights. T-shirts with tights. [NY Daily News]
Lindsay Lohan went to Samantha Ronson‘s half-brother’s bar mitzvah on Saturday. A photographer asked Lindsay — who was raised Catholic — if she was switching religions, to which she replied: “I’m trying.” She’ll be a nice Jewish wife for Sam. [Daily Mail]
Lindsay’s Facebook status says “I’m converting.” [Mirror]
Speaking of religious experiences: Madonna, Jesus Luz and her three kids attended a Kabbalah service together. [Daily Mail]
Here’s a picture of Jesus putting a “loving arm” around her Madgesty. [Daily Mail]
Amy Poehler is in the new “comedy” issue of Vanity Fair, but there are only dudes on the cover, boo. [NY Post]
The father of ten-year-old Azharuddin Ismail from Slumdog Millionaire wants more cash. He says the kid will get less than £20,000 for the hit flick, which has grossed £123million. (There is a trust set up for the child to get money when he turns 18.) He says: “My son has taken on the world and won. I am so proud of him but I want more money. They promised me a new house but it hasn’t happened. I’m still in the slum. I want the money now, it is of no use later. Mr. Boyle should take care of my son.” [Daily Mail]
Meanwhile, ten-year-old Azharuddin Ismail has been sick with a fever and vomiting. And Rubina Ali, who played the young Latika, has refused to take off the dress she wore to the Oscars and wants “a proper bed… I have seen what it is like in America. Here, there is garbage everywhere, people get angry, swear and shout. I have realized how bad life is here. I just want to get out.” [The Daily Beast via Telegraph]
Did Katie Holmes miss the Oscars because a “punishing detox diet” left her tired and lethargic? [Daily Mail]
Unsolicited uterus update: Katie Holmes is not pregnant. [USA Today]
Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, has been offered a year of free clothing by Custom Kingdom. They make a onesie which reads, “I’m out on parole.” Classy! [Us]
Spotted “shouting incoherently” and “running up and down the aisles” in the Club World section of a British Airlines overnight flight from the Carribbean to London: Amy Winehouse. [Daily Mail]
“Amy Winehouse’s husband out of jail… and in the arms of love rival Sophie.” [Mirror]
Jake Gyllenhaal was seen shopping for women’s underwear, but when someone recognized him, he fled without making the purchase. Poor Reese! [The Sun]
Snoop Dogg was at the Nation of Islam’s annual Saviours Day convention on Sunday. Apparently he’s a member of the Nation? [AP]
Real Housewives star Kim Zolciak has been sued by her publicist. At the same time, she is trying to get a restraining order on the guy. [E!]
Adam Pascal, “Roger” from the orignal cast of Rent thinks Jeremy Piven‘s “mercury poisoning” is “bullshit.” Why TMZ felt the need to ask him remains a mystery. [TMZ]
Heath Ledger‘s final film, Terry Gilliam‘s The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus, is “struggling” to get a distribution deal. [Telegraph]
Michael Jackson has “secretly” recorded over 100 songs to be released only after his death. They will be left to his three kids, Prince, Paris and Blanket, who would probably would prefer a mansion or some cash. [Daily Express]
Keira Knightley will star in a sci-fi thriller called Never Let Me Go, which invloves a boarding school and clones. [Variety]
Julia Stiles is extremely interested in school reform; she feels that New York’s public schools failed her. She is now email buddies with the school chancellor, Joel Klein. [NY Magazine]
Prince Harry‘s instructors are calling him an “instinctive pilot.” That’s good. [Telegraph]
Carla Bruni did not get any nominations for the French version of the Grammys. A source says: “Buying a Carla CD became very uncool after she married Mr. Sarkozy, especially when she started dedicating her love songs to him.” [Daily Mail]
Paris Hilton‘s 28th birthday bash (is this her third one?) involved Paris pole dancing for her guests at the club inside of her mansion. She allegedly told people “you have to wear pink to get in,” yet no one is wearing pink in these pix. [Daily Mail]
The executive producers of The Sarah Silverman Program have threatened to quit after having their budget slashed. Sarah Silverman herself is one of those three producers. They used to get $1.1 million an episode; Comedy Central wanted to bring it down to $850,000 an episode. Tough times? [Reuters]
Bruce Willis is being sued for breach of contract; he allegedly quit a project he was directing without notice. [AP]
Tennis champ Boris Becker got engaged on a German game show. [Reuters]
Siegfried and Roy performed their final illusion Saturday night, appearing on stage with Montecore, the white tiger who mauled Roy Horn. If you missed it, catch it Friday in a one hour TV special on ABC’s 20/20. [IHT]
A crocodile park in South India is being sued by Steve Irwin‘s widow for using Steve’s name and likeness in the park. [Hindustan Times]
Blind item: “Which mega-star’s reputation is being trashed by a tranny in Miami? The endowed lass is telling anyone who’ll listen all about his embarrassing sexual positions.” [Gatecrasher]
“I love paint. I like watercolours. I like acrylic paint… a little bit. I like house paint. I like oil-based paint, and I love oil paint. I love the smell of turpentine and I like that world of oil paint very, very, very much.” — David Lynch, who makes art instead of films now. [Guardian]
“[As a child I loved] Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. And I was mad about Errol Flynn. I wasn’t really interested in actresses. But strong women I always found interesting-Bette Davis and Katharine Hepburn. And I saw quite a lot of British movies: Celia Johnson and that wonderful Noël Coward movie Brief Encounter.” — Angela Lansbury. [NY Magazine]
“I can’t control certain things about myself. I will spend my whole life worrying about my weight. Every day I live I am on a diet. It’s like being an alcoholic. For ages you say you don’t need help, and then eventually you get some, and then it becomes a way of life.” Sarah Ferguson, who says she overate because she was always compared to Princess Diana. [Daily Mail]
“They haven’t called, they haven’t written. I keep hearing they’re developing one but I don’t know whether I’m going to be in it… but they keep doing (fan) polls, and I keep winning them.” — Tom Selleck, on the film version of Magnum P.I. [Daily Express]
“I was never starstruck (by him). I have not seen Star Wars, isn’t that amazing… I’m sure it is (good). It’s weird that I haven’t seen it. We lived in a small town and the movie theatre was an hour away. And I was 12 – the perfect age to see it.” — Calista Flockhart on beau Harrison Ford. [Daily Express]
“In the past my brain would never stop. Now I’m a father the world no longer revolves around me. When I’m with Bronx, he’s got my complete attention. He’s the only thing that occupies my thoughts. It fascinates me to speculate on what he’s thinking and feeling at any given moment. I also love to speculate about what kind of man he’s going to become. He could be another Neil Armstrong or Christopher Columbus. Who is he going to fall in love with? What’s his hair going to be like when he’s 15? Then, while I’m fantasising about all this stuff, he’ll go to put his hand in his mouth and end up smacking himself in the eye. He’s the single greatest achievement of my life.” — Pete Wentz. [Daily Mail]
“I remember being twelve and thinking, I can’t wait until I’m sixteen, because by then I’m going to have a car, a driver’s license, a really cool boyfriend, and boobs. And now I’m eighteen, and I have none of those things. None! That was my twelve-year-old self’s checklist, and nothing has been checked off.” — Emma Roberts. [Teen Vogue]
“Norah’s hopeless, like a bull in a china shop. She has great potential, but she’s stuck, despite yearning for more than her situation. She wants to know what happened in the past, and no one wants to talk about it. She’s funny and heartbreaking, and I love her curiosity. I’m always drawn to people who are a little off the wall.” — Emily Blunt on her character in new film Sunshine Cleaning. [NY Times]
“If I had a fire in my house and could only save one item of clothing I’d never come outside. I’d burn. I don’t have a favorite item as I appreciate each piece I own as a part of my wider collection.” — Pharrell Williams. [Daily Mail]
“No matter what I say, things will always be taken out of context and misinterpreted, will always be turned around to make it seem as though I won’t let something go, or that I just keep talking about it over and over. I don’t owe anybody anything. I don’t owe anybody my side of the story. There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy. There are no villains and there is no heroine in this story. It’s just not the case.” — Jennifer Aniston on breaking up with Brad. [Elle UK]
“I know that if I eat nothing but burgers and chips, I’m not going to be hired for the parts I normally would. That might be fine one day, but not right now.” — Jennifer Aniston. [Elle UK]
“As a kid I sometimes went to work with my dad. He didn’t want me to act but knew if he told me not to I’d be even more determined. He said that the rejection would rip my heart out, but I didn’t believe it. I wanted to find out for myself. Starting out, my agent told me I wasn’t being cast because I needed to lose weight. So I dropped 30lbs and landed Friends, only to find myself publicly chastised for being too skinny. I didn’t know I was ‘overweight’ until someone told me. Even worse, I offended the entire Greek nation because I was quoted as saying I was not genetically thin, just Greek with big boobs and ass. I feel lucky to have them. All shapes and sizes are beautiful.” — Jennifer Aniston. [Showbiz Spy]