Bromantic Elderly Otter Couple Dies Together • Mississippi To Vote On Abortion Ban In 2011

Zookeepers suspect their incredibly close bond helped them live long beyond the average lifespan of an otter (14 years). The only consolation, they said, is that Daz, 19, and Chip, 16, went together. • The Malaysian Muslim woman caught drinking beer at a beach-side bar in 2007 will not be caned after all. Religious officials have converted her sentence, which means instead of being struck with a stick, she will have to do some community service. • Michelle Obama remains the more popular half of the First Couple with 78% approval ratings. She is also more popular than her predecessors: Laura Bush had approval ratings of 74% during a similar point her in husband’s presidency, and Hillary Clinton had a measly 58%. • A Missouri lawmaker is facing an election challenge from her own, reportedly abusive, husband. Just days after Linda Fischer obtained a restraining order against him, John Fischer filed as a candidate for his wife’s seat. • On Wednesday afternoon, Minnesota Twins player Denard Span hit a foul ball that – incredibly – got his mother right in the chest. Span immediately ran into the stands to check on his mom. Fortunately, Wanda Wilson is fine. “He was so worried,” she told the Associated Press, “but I’m all right.” • In a very strange move, a group of Spanish air hostesses have created a nude calendar to protest their employer’s unwillingness to pay them for months of work. “We are just demanding our rights to receive what is ours, we each have eight or nine months of unpaid salaries,” said attendant Adriana Ricardo. This has got to be a joke, right? • Funeral services were held today for Jon Carmichael, a 13-year-old Texas boy who was driven to suicide by incessant bullying over his small stature. One of his classmates, Chris Montelongo, says he is being unfairly blamed for Carmichael’s death. Although he picked on him, he says he “wasn’t the only one. I can guarantee you it was most of the school who messed with Jon.” • Cosmetic surgeons are trying to sell the public on a new procedure: bone implants. Apparently, as we age, our bones get worn down, which is why face-lifts should start including jaw, chin, and cheek implants. Or you could, you know, age gracefully. • Feministing has uncovered some depressing information about the revamped Lilith Fair. A website set up to promote the event, which allows users to “choose your charity,” includes links to anti-choice crisis pregnancy centers. However, it seems as though the Fair’s organizers weren’t trying to make a statement, but just hadn’t done the necessary homework. • Breeders in Asia and the Middle East are creating some technicolor chicks by injecting eggs with a dye that tints their feathers. Although they say it does not harm the little guys, a British animal rights group has spoken out against the practice, saying it turns animals into “novelty items.” • Oh no they didn’t: Mississippi is putting an abortion ban on the ballot for 2011. Mississippi already has some of the strictest abortion laws, but next year voters will be asked to decide whether an unborn fetus should be given human rights. •