You know how Charlie Sheen allegedly shot then-fiancée Kelly Preston in the arm back in 1990? Well, he claims he didn’t fire the gun. At a recent stop on his Violent Torpedo of Nonsense tour, he explained he was making coffee while he thought she was asleep and, “I heard a fucking gunshot go off. I thought, ‘She did it, she finally fucking did it. She killed herself and they’re going to fucking blame me.” Surely that’s the first thought that runs through anyone’s head when they hear a gunshot coming from where a loved one is sleeping. He continued, “I come around the corner and there’s naked Kelly Preston at the top of the stairs, holding her wrist, staring at me, covered in blood…and I thought, that’s pretty fucking hot … I didn’t. I didn’t … She explained to me when she lifted my pants off the scale in the bathroom … the tiny revolver I used to carry … it fell out of the back jeans pocket and hit the floor and shot a bullet right between her legs … So she got hit with shrapnel from the toilet bowl.” [E!]