“Hundreds” of “highly intimate” photographs of Christina Aguliera are for sale after someone found a digital storage card in a French hotel. The pictures — some of which were taken in September of last year, at Nicole Richie‘s bachelorette weekend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico — show Xtina hanging out with naked male strippers; simulating oral sex on a dude holding a sex toy; making out with boyfriend Matthew Rulter; lying in bed with Matthew Rutler; dancing on a tables, etc. Oh! And one photograph is of “Aguilera mimicking an oral sex act on a chocolate covered banana at a theme park.” The folks at Radar have seen the images, and say that there are also shots of Aguilera posing before and after makeup. Nothing really shocking, and mostly, what you’d expect from any rich 30-year-old pop star who’d recorded a song called “Dirrty.” The right thing to do would be to return the memory card to Xtina, but do we really think that’s going to happen? [Radar Online]
Reese Witherspoon‘s farm-style wedding featured a bluegrass band, chandeliers hanging from trees, mismatched antique chairs, arrangements of flowers in mason jars and a “s’mores lounge.” [Us]
While Reese Witherspoon was getting married, ex-husband Ryan Phillippe was hanging out with Amanda Seyfried and their dogs. [Us]
Scarlett Johansson took Sean Penn as her date to Reese Witherspoon‘s wedding. It’s so on! Can we get a grade school oooo-oohhh? [Showbiz Spy]
WTF. Why did Guess send out a press release about Lady Gaga shopping at their store in Miami when this person is clearly not Lady Gaga? And why the hell is there a “Lady Gaga impersonator” on the loose? [The Cut]
Fake Gaga also went to a restaurant and French Connection. [Page Six]
The real Gaga received diamonds and a custom-made sex doll for her birthday. [Showbiz Spy]
Today in bad ideas: Cameron Diaz is mulling a baseball romcom in which A-Rod would play her onscreen leading man. Allegedly! Which makes you cringe more — another romcom with a lady standing on the pitcher’s mound in it? Or the thought of Alex Rodriguez acting? [NYDN]
- Beyoncé has fired her father as her manager — although we thought they’d ended that relationship long ago? [NY Post]
- On sale now! Prince William and Kate Middleton stamps! [ABC News]
- Miley Cyrus and her dad: Reunited and it feels so good. [CNN]
- Elizabeth Taylor was worth almost $1 billion at the time of her death. [Hollywood Reporter]
- This is the second day I’m seeing Rihanna and her booty on the cover of Rolling Stone, and I am still completely confounded by her shorts. Are they real? Painted on? Is it an illusion? Did someone cut up jeggings? I need answers, people! [Rolling Stone]
- You will find this simply shocking, but the top New York hotels have made it clear that Charlie Sheen is not welcome in their establishments. Chuckles will be coming to town to “perform” at Radio City Music Hall on April 8 as part of his Violent Torpedo Of Truth tour, and needs a place to stay. He needs to be able to smoke, he has an entourage of 30 — lighting folks and goddesses — and may or may not do drugs on any available flat surfaces. Anyone want to invite him over? [Page Six]
- Tickets for Charlie Sheen‘s tour are selling for below face value. [NY Post]
- Jessica Simpson might elope! Even though she’s engaged, she says: “No date has been set… We’ve both been married before. We’re enjoying our commitment to each other. We want to take our time.” And: “I will be part of designing my own wedding gown. We might elope if it gets to that point.” [Us]
- Breaking: Kim Kardashian‘s boyfriend likes cupcakes. [Gatecrasher]
- “Lindsay Lohan Leaves Samantha Ronson‘s House At 4AM With I Love You Bear.” [X17]
- After “flipping out” when she missed her manicure appointment and was told the salon could not accomodate her, Foxy Brown was kicked off of a cruise ship in the Cayman Islands. [TMZ]
- The folks behind Kung Fu Panda will be working on Candy Land, the movie. Yes, based on the game. Just like Battleship and Ouja. Where is Mouse Trap? [The Wrap]
- Jon Stewart notes that General Electric paid zero, ZERO U.S. federal income tax in 2010, despite earning $14.2 billion in profits. But! This fact was not reported by NBC Nightly News — perhaps because NBC is owned by GE? In any case, surely it’s not BriWi’s fault. He’s the best. [TV Squad]
- Behold the poster for The Hangover Part II. [People]
- And! Behold the creeptastic poster for the new Harry Potter film. [Twitter]
- “Willie Nelson‘s pot possession case could end on a high note — because the singer may get off with little more than a small fine … if he agrees to SING IN COURT.” [TMZ]