Coachella Weekend 1 Looked Chaotic as Hell

This weekend, dozens upon dozens of influencers (and a modest collection of A-list celebrities) descended on the California desert for round one of that hallowed little music festival known as Coachella. Although, in recent years, it’s basically become one big brand activation full of flamingo inflatables and seltzer. I mean, Vanessa Hudgens barely goes anymore which is basically like if Caitlin Covington stopped traveling to Vermont for photoshoots when the leaves changed. However, one can still count on it being the venue of some salacious gossip and weird sets, and baby, 2024 has been no different so far.

It all kicked off on Friday when Lana Del Rey rode up to the stage on the back of a motorcycle driven by a middle-aged man. Are we surprised? No. Were we still gagged? Absolutely. “Baby, I’m a gangster too,” a lyric from her unreleased track, “Jealous Girl,” played on loop as the headliner—very slowly—took the stage…early. That’s right, she wasn’t even late like usual! A gaggle of guests made appearances during her set, including longtime collaborators Jack Antonoff and Jon Batiste, the latter of which played the piano for a very long version of “Candy Necklace” as she—again, very slowly—twirled on a pole. Billie Eilish also joined Del Rey for a duet of “Video Games” and Eilish’s “Ocean Eyes.” The Tumblr teen within would’ve squealed if she weren’t too busy reblogging.

“This is the reason for half you bitches’ existence, including mine,” Eilish told the crowd, gesturing to Del Rey. Speaking of Eilish! The Grammy-winner was repeatedly spotted looking awfully couple-y with actress Odessa A’zion throughout the weekend. And of course, I’d be remiss not to mention the couple singlehandedly holding up the tabloid industry at the moment: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. The pair put on quite the display at Dom Dolla‘s set, and later during Ice Spice‘s. Personally, I am most invested in imagining the conversation Swift had with Real Housewife of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice, preceding this selfie. Nearby, Polly Pocket (Sabrina Carpenter) and her Burberry-clad boyfriend (Barry Keoghan) canoodled.

Other miscellaneous news items I will be thinking about until next weekend: Will Smith‘s surprise appearance in full Men In Black cosplay for J Balvin‘s set; the cast of The L Word‘s surprise appearance to introduce Renee Rapp‘s set; Kesha‘s (who attended the festival with none other than Kyle Richards) surprise appearance during Rapp’s set for a duet of “Tik Tok” which included this important lyric change: “Wake up in the morning like fuck P Diddy.” Finally, this dinosaur skeleton’s surprise appearance for Doja Cat‘s set.

Can’t wait to see what chaos next weekend holds!

• Sophia Vergara has a hot surgeon boyfriend now. [Page Six]
• At this point, make Ryan Gosling a full-time SNL cast member. [Entertainment Tonight]
• No, Selena Gomez has never dated Jack Schlossberg. Now stop asking her about it or she’ll take another social media hiatus. [Billboard]
• Here’s Megan Fox‘s advice for single heterosexual women: “Learn a skill or develop a hobby.” [Daily Mail]
• If anyone ~even cares~ John Wayne Bobbitt, aka Lorena Bobbitt‘s husband, is now missing toes in addition to his tool. [People]