Today we walked through the last seven years of Brad and Angelina wedding rumors. It might look like these kids simply aren’t interested in tying the knot… But Vitajex knows better:
I have some inside information here!
Brad and Angelina are actually prohibited from marriage by a federal order issued jointly by the offices of the Treasury, Education and of Commerce.
They’ve indicated that if the two were to ever be married, the blow to the publishing industry would be so crippling, that many trashy tabloids would go bankrupt. And, since, these are the only types of things the majority of Americans read anymore, it could lead to the death of the printed word. And, if public schoolchildren can’t read pointless conjecture about random celebrities, they will probably never learn to read at all- and then how will they be able to follow the instructions on the Fry-o-lator?
In summation, a ‘Brangelina’ wedding would be an economic catastrophe from which the US might never recover.
And, because it’s Friday, we have a Special Mention Comment Of The Day, in response to the post Fox News Says They Won’t Touch Murdoch Story With A “Ten Foot Turban.” Excellent observation by Graviton1066, who writes: