During a recent Twins game, a security guard harassed a pair of lesbians for “playing grab ass,” or what you and I might call “kissing.” prestocaro says:
And lo, Moses presented the final and most important commandment: Thou shalt not play grab ass, neither with thine mother or son or lesbian shitass.
And also, thine peanuts are for the glory of God, ye shall eat them and throw the shells to the wind, but mostly on the ground, because they get everywhere if you throw them into the wind.
Like, srsly y’all, everywhere. This is God talking, not Moses. Even though Moses hates watching lesbians kiss and getting peanut shells in his beard. So it is written by God’s hand
Amen.
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