Courtney Love said some kind of amazing shit about basically everything that has been going on except Syria.
“I liked Miley, frankly. I’m gonna be honest, Katy Perry bores the fuck out of me. She’s a nice girl, she just really bores me. You know, that hillbilly Miley Cyrus is sort of punk in a weird sex way. It was openly sexual… like dark and hillbilly and fucked up.”
She also throws an A1 zing at Robin Thicke: “Can someone inform me who Alan Thicke’s son is? Like what? Wasn’t [he on] Charles in Charge? That’s like Jared Leto trying to convince me he’s a rock star.” [Page Six]
Miley Cyrus’ music video for “Wrecking Ball” is the most-watched one on VEVO, ever, in the (shortish, when you take the actual beginning of time into account) history of VEVO. [NYDN]
Impossibly twee supercouple Emily Blunt and John Krasinski are expecting their first child in “just a few months,” says their rep. The child is expected to be born taller than average and eventually irritate his Montessori teachers with his tendency to smirk at an imagined fourth wall. [Us Weekly]
Promoting her upcoming raunchy teen prom comedy Carrie, Chloe Moretz told Seventeen that she knows the horrors of bullying secondhand:
“I have two gay brothers and two straight brothers, and my gay brothers were treated horrifically until they grew up and understood how to deal with it. I will delete you and I will block you, and you will not be a part of my life if you ever say anything bad about my brothers.” [NYDN]
The National Enquirer says that Tiger Woods’ girlfriend Lindsey Vonn brazenly made out in public with some guy from Jay Z and Justin Timberlake’s tour. I guess Ken Starr was there too, because we get this Harlequin paperback description:
“She threw herself into his arms and they started on a long session of deep kissing that went on for several minutes. He was a tall, good-looking man, in his mid-40s, with graying temples. They were really going at it. They were both holding drinks, and Lindsey’s free hand was around his neck, drawing him closer, while his hand was gripping her rear end.”
A Vonnfriend adds: “She wants her own fame – not [Tiger’s]. Now it looks like she’s checking out the playing field.” [Radar Online]
- Zoe Saldana secret-married her boyfriend Marco Peregro in a “super-small but romantic and beautiful” wedding. [Us Weekly]
- Taylor Swift and an Australian actor named Brenson Thwaite had One Crazy Romantic Evening after meeting at a movie premiere, ending with burgers at 2 AM, at which point Tay-Tay’s bodyguard who I picture as Mike Ehrmentraut from Breaking Bad said (and I quote) “I’m sitting down.” No half-measures!! [Page Six]
- Laura Dern’s divorce from Ben Harper was finalized. 😐 [TMZ]
- Biz Markie lost 140 pounds in order to fight diabetes. [NYDN]
- Holly Madison married noted non-Hugh Hefner Pasqualle Rotella at Disneyland. [People]
- Maya Rudolph delivered her fourth kid with her longtime boyfriend and Burt Reynolds-wrangler Paul Thomas Anderson. [Us Weekly]
- Kathy Griffin is Team Gaga in Gaga v. Perez. [Gossip Cop]
- Lamar Odom went out and bought some household copper scrubber pads, which double as an ingredient to make your own crack pipe. [TMZ]
- Robin Thicke: “I have the most functional dysfunctional marriage in Hollywood.” Blurred liiiIIIIIIInes. [Radar Online]
- Justin Bieber kicked posse members Lil Twist and Lil Za out of his house for causing trouble. [Radar Online]
- Be your own hero, tweets Khloe Kardashian. [Us Weekly]
- Ed Sheeran admitted that he actually was dating Ellie Goulding during the VMAs, but they have since split up. [E!]
- Dakota Johnson is dating hipster Scientologist Jordan Masterson. [E!]
- Leonardo DiCaprio was ignoring the US Open and texting Toni Garrn the whole time. Gotta say, I am starting to feel like the guy has no game. [Page Six]
- Gwyneth Paltrow has added Vanity Fair to her list of enemies (along with gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, starch, and whimsy). [NYDN]
- Jason Bateman and Clive Owen are friends?! I love that. [Page Six]
- Jordana Brewster has a new son, Julian. [People]
- Celebrity Mad Libs: Ashley Greene, topless, Staten Island. [Us Weekly]
- Joseph Gordon-Levitt holds the unpopular opinion that myopic area tax attorney Scarlett Johansson is actually kinda sexy. [People]
- Kelly Osbourne’s perplexed about why her breasts are growing. Maybe a rascally little boy is feeding them too much fish food. [People]
- Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have (temporarily) reunited at a tech conference. [People]
- Oscar De La Hoya is going to rehab. [People]
- Jenna Dewan-Tatum walked around with her and Chay Tates‘ 3-month-old Everly. [Us Weekly]
- SOMEBODY pulled one over on Victoria Beckham and gave her knockoff cronuts. [NYDN]
- Shut the fuck up about Kristen Stewart’s hair. [Daily Mail]
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