In one of the most gloriously absurd stories in recent memory, a Springfield, Massachusetts Taco Bell employee was arrested after a customer allegedly bit him on the arm, after which the employee shot him repeatedly with a BB gun.
The customer in question apparently couldn’t get anyone at the Taco Bell to come help him at the drive-through, and the guy really, REALLY wanted Tacos. According to police, the customer banged on the window repeatedly, but no one would come help him at the drive through, so he parked and went to bang on the door. Steven Noska, the Taco Bell employee pictured above, opened the door and the two had what might charitably be termed a “spirited argument,” at some point during which Noska allegedly shoved the customer and the customer (who was presumably unbelievably hungry for tacos at that point) allegedly repeatedly bit Noska on the arm.
Like any sane, reasonable human being, Noska immediately called the police on the crazed customer shouting “A IS FOR APPENDAGE, IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.”* Hahaha, just kidding! Noska went and got a BB handgun from his car, shot the customer several times, and then pistol-whipped him. As one does.
Someone in the restaurant (it’s unclear if it was Noska himself) set off the hold-up alarm, alerting police. After several witnesses showed police the video of him shooting the customer, he was promptly arrested. Noska has since been charged with two counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and one count of assault and battery. There’s no word on whether the customer was charged with anything for allegedly biting Noska, although the fact that there was immediate video evidence of what Noska did may have meant he was the only one charged. If any more information becomes available, I’ll update this.
Worst of all (totally not worst of all), the customer didn’t even get his tacos. Ouch.
* Note: in no way did this actually happen, unless we’re counting my fantasy version of this story.