A new study shows that blind love could actually be a good thing — being a little bit deluded about your partner could even save your marriage.
According to the LA Times, psychologists studied 222 couples for the first three years of marriage — “time enough, science has shown, for the marital blahs to set in” (it’s kind of depressing that science has clocked the onset of “marital blahs”). The only ones who avoided a decline in satisfaction were those who were idealistic about their partners from the very beginning. Actually, only one partner had to be an idealist — a partner who thinks you’re the greatest thing ever also increases your marital happiness. Says study author Sandra Murray, “We’ve found that being idealized by your partner changes the way you feel about yourself.”
Other researchers note that idealism isn’t a substitute for actually fixing problems that arise in a relationship. And of course, thinking that your partner is flawlessly honest when he’s actually an international con artist could cause problems. But it’s no surprise that thinking somebody’s the bestest ever — or having a partner who thinks that about you — can be good for a marriage. It may be easier, for instance, to deal with a relationship’s inevitable problems if you think you’re basically with a great catch. The research is also a rebuke to the recently-popular gospel of “settling for Mr. Good Enough” — shockingly, people who are actually really into their partners may have a better time. And maybe when the shit hits the fan, “good enough” doesn’t actually look all that awesome.
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